A story for the soul.

At the start of the year, I went on a holiday. I went with some friends from high school, and it was just the escape I needed.

There was lots of sunshine, swimming, drinking, dancing and meeting new people.

And I managed to cross off quite possible the most intense sexual experience of my life to date- a situation that I highly doubt I will ever spontaneously find myself in again.

It's amazing when things just happen to fall into place. For so long I've wanted to have a threesome, but haven't been able to achieve it, even when meeting with people from websites purely with that in mind.

Again, I'm going to be skimming over a few details leading up to the event- because I was seeing my ex before I left. We weren't in a committed relationship, but I do still feel guilty about the fact that I slept with anyone while he was in my life. In fact after the fact I spent most of the rest of my trip in this empty, desolate state where I couldn't really communicate with anyone or feel anything.

Regardless, I feel lucky to have gained such a sexually open experience, and do want to share it with you all.

I was out alone this night, and made friends with some fellow travellers. Three men. There was a lot of drinking involved. In fact I was very adamant that I would not sleep with anyone on this trip before the drinks started flowing and we all got along, and there were girls dancing on poles, and everything was light up so brightly and the music was pumping and my blood was rushing and by the end of the night I was on a massive high. The night air was warm with sweat, and I ended up kissing one of the guys. The girls on the poles were working girls, and I knew these guys were planning on taking some of them home.

It started off as a playful bargaining ploy, I bargained the girls' prices up, trying to play the supportive woman role, or something I guess. But before I knew it I was back at the boys' hotel, playing the supportive role in the bathroom with the two girls, making sure they had their payment. Then I was on the bed, with the strongest, fittest, most sculpted, gorgeous man I have ever laid my hands on. And one of the girls. With another guy and girl in the bed next to us, and guy three on the sidelines.

Eventually, we all merged into one, and I found myself between girls, between guys- everything was a blur because of the adrenaline and ridiculous amounts of alcohol-  I didn't really know what body part belonged to whom, or who was doing what to which part of me, but it was incredibly. It was this whole energy of heat, spontaneity and raw, fierce, in-the-moment passion.

After a while the girls left, and I ended up proceeding to the shower with just one of the guys, the chiseled, tanned Adonis who just happened to be the one I had kissed before arriving at the hotel.

I left for my own hotel at around 5 or 6 in the morning, on the back of a motorbike taxi, and got up to catch a flight to another city the next day.

The immediate after-effects left me a shell of a person, but I have come to terms with what happened, and remind myself that, although morally this was not the right thing to do, it also wasn't entirely the wrong thing either, as my ex and I were not back together, and I guess seeing him again made me afraid and frustrated, because I could tell he still didn't love me, and I still do feel for him very deeply.

Anyway, that is the story of how I spontaneously and organically had a 6 person orgy, with a 1:1 ratio of male to female!

One point I would like to make, in regards to sexual health- the whole time, regardless of how drunk I was, I made sure that condoms were used by all the guys involved, and also that they were changed in between myself and the girls. As fun as this experience was, it is not something that should be taken lightly as it is not only sex with strangers, but sex with multiple strangers, and there was no reason for me to not take charge and ensure that I put my own health and safety first.



All other emotions aside, it's most definitely a story to tell!

2012

I'm back! I have so much to say and it's late, so this is just a bit of a teaser, I suppose- just to let you all know I am still around!

And I do have to say a big thank you to all of you- I haven't posted in a whole six months, but I signed in for the first time since then and see that I have still had visitors to this page, as well as plenty of emails from you guys! So really, thank you for the support, and for not forgetting me! :)

I started this blog in June of last year, so it has been going for almost an entire year, and my how things have progressed!
I am in a much stronger place, and really feel that having this blog as an outlet, along with the support of all you guys has really played a great part in how far I've come in a year!

But enough of the soppy stuff and back to the juice!

Like I said, just a teaser because I don't want to skim over anything, I want you guys to get the stories you deserve, but basically the reason I haven't posted is that my ex and I were seeing each other again up until very recently. I feel much better about everything, essentially we had some final closure and tied up loose ends, and I am feeling much more independent and capable of getting by without him than I have in a long time.

Next, I figure this is a good time to revise my single bucket list that I made almost exactly a year ago!

I went through my posts looking for it, and for any additions I may have made along the way, and was actually pleasantly surprised (and consequently quite proud) of how much I actually achieved! I will definitely be giving you all the details on these very soon, but for now-

*Things I have crossed off my Single Bucket List:

-Meet more people, be more outgoing, and don't turn down opportunities to spend time with people.

-Have a threesome; MFF and MFM (I am ticking this off, although technically it was more than just a threesome... details to come very soon, and they'll be worth the wait!).

-Become more relaxed about sex- enjoy bringing myself to orgasm.

-Buy a new sex toy.

-Have anal sex while using a vibrator in my pussy.

*Things I am still to do:

-Have sex with a woman (one-on-one, threesomes etc do not count).

-Have another threesome (MFM, MFF, FFF) where it is just three people and we can all spend proper time exploring each other's bodies.

-Get into a mind-frame where I can allow others to make me cum.

*New additions:

-Have webcam sex.

-Remember to be content being by myself and not feel the need to be part of a "unit".

-Videotape myself having sex (with the consent of... the other party!).

So there we have it! We can see I actually did more things on the list than not, and I'll try to come up with some new additions to challenge myself as well!
Let me know if you all have any suggestions!


The one major attitude change I have experienced in this year, is that I am so much more free. I have learned to accept things as they come, and choose to view things from a more positive point-of-view.

Of course I still have ups and downs, but overall I am thankful for going through this break-up in the way that I did, as it truly has helped me change and grow.

Here's a picture for you guys, as always. I've gathered a whole lot of new ones I'm really really loving, so all the more reason for me to post more so I can share them all with you!

It's good to be back. :)

K.

A long story after a long break.

Firstly I have to apologise for not posting in so long. So much has happened that I haven't even had the energy to write. My family life has been a bit awol, and I've been dealing with organising study and pressures at work. But I have a lot to write about.

I've been very tired, either physically or emotionally, every time I've thought about writing, and I just haven't been able to put my heart into it. But tonight I'm feeling good. Even though I should be going to sleep because it's 2:15 in the morning, I think it's time I posted again.
Also a quick disclaimer to anyone who has tried to reach me by email over the past few months- I am still alive and having sex, and I will reply to each and every one of you in due course. Sorry for making you wait, I do really love getting emails from my readers, I like to know that my words have some kind of an impact, on whatever scale. =]

Tonight I was at a friend's place with a small group, just relaxing and hanging about talking. Two of my friends came back to my place and we just spoke about sex and relationships. It was so nice to speak openly with two close friends who are like-minded. So our chat has got me in the right mind-frame to blog again.
I guess the first thing I should mention is that I have been seeing my ex again. I won't go into the details of how or why it happened, because it was quite a personal situation that had us meet again, but the first night I saw him again, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We ended up just talking in my car until very late, and eventually we kissed. It felt like we had only seen each other yesterday, and in the end I gave up and invited him in. We hung around most of the next day, and it was as if we had never been apart. He kept saying he didn't know what any of this meant, but I told him I didn't care. It is so nice having him in my life again, even if it is just for now. I've been really good at switching my mind off and just feeling instead of thinking, and it makes it so much easier to just be.
So far the past month or two we have been texting each other most days, and seeing one another every couple of weeks. The sex has been mind-blowing. I think time apart has done us good, and I in particular have relaxed a lot and feel much more free trying new things with him than when we were together. I think being single, and also having this blog and communicating with my readers, has been really helpful in becoming all the more comfortable with my sexuality, my wants and desires, and also in actually being able to realise and express what it is that I want.

The last time I slept with him was quite probably the best sex I have ever had. And funnily enough- it was anal! It's funny, writing about sex with him feels a lot more scary than when I write about it with others, because it means so much more. I feel like the sex I share with him should be kept between us. I will however say that I fulfilled my desire of being fucked from behind while holding my vibrator inside my pussy.
It was incredible, and he went down on me with one finger in my ass and two in my pussy, and my God it was intense!
Kissing him is one of the best things in the world. I had forgotten just how incredibly his lips feel against mine, against my neck, against my body.
I don't know exactly how we feel about one another anymore, but I'm very happy with whatever it is that we are doing at the moment.

The other thing about writing this post now that I've been seeing my ex again, is that I'm more paranoid than ever that he, or someone we know, might see this. It wouldn't be too hard to work out who I am for those who know me closely enough. But I love having this blog, it makes me feel free to express myself, and I also like the idea that people are reading and sharing fantasies. I want to be able to help people express their own sexuality, and become more comfortable discussing sex.
I went away on a week-long holiday with a big group of my friends a couple of weeks ago. I shared a room with two of my very close male friends. One night, one friend and I went to bed earlier than the other, and we started talking about sex, and how we both believed that friends should be able to sleep together without it being awkward. It would be so much easier if we, as people, could all switch off our inner monologue, our ideas of right and wrong, and just relax in one another's presence. Of course this doesn't apply to all friends- some of my very close friends I could never sleep with, there's no chemistry in that way, and it just wouldn't feel right. But in some cases, it would be so much easier if it were socially acceptable for friends to sleep together and still be the same old friends the next day.

I'll write one more thing before I go to sleep, just because I think it's a fun story to share.
I was out one night with my group, we were all very drunk, and one of my girl friends and I decided we wanted to see two of the guys in the group kiss. So, of course, we did the whole pre-teen deal of if you make out we'll make out.
So they did.
And we did.
And it was actually really awesome. It was a really hot kiss, and even though I've never seen her as a sexual person, and she identifies as straight, she definitely stepped up to the occasion, and it was a lot of fun. It was hot, and it didn't change anything, which was great.

It's nice finding people with a relaxed attitude about everything.
I'm sorry if this has been a bit rambly, it's late and I'm starting to feel the tiredness. I intend on posting again soon, and on replying to all the emails I have marked with a little star in my inbox! =]
I would love to get some suggestions on what you'd like to see an entry on next, so feel free to leave a comment on the blog or shoot me through an email, I will start replying ASAP, I swear!

Have a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, and start to 2012!!
Love K =]

Something to blog about.

I'm a little euphoric today.

Yesterday was a shitty day. I was missing the ex, I was stressed, I was horny, nothing was fulfilling me at all.

I went out anyway because a friend was here from interstate for a family thing. So I went with her to see her, but left pretty early because I was in a pretty foul mood and wanted to get some sleep so that I could get a start on my essay today. I decided, however, to pop in to a bar on the way home where my friends all were. It was a night were a few of my friends who are in bands were performing. I was only going to pop in and say hi, but when I got there one band that a few of my friends are in was about to start playing. I hadn't heard them play before, so I decided I might as well stay and listen.

They were amazing, and I was put in a better mood hanging around everyone, and started to perk up.

One of my friends was the guitarist in the band, and he was so fucking incredible I watched him most of the time, not the lead singer.

I've always had a bit of a crush on him. Anyway, he was my ride home, because he lives just up the street from me. But instead of leaving at 1:00 when they finished playing, we actually got caught up chatting at the bar for a while. A couple of my friends joined us, and we all ended up speaking about sex. This friend has the same attitude about it as I do- free and open about everything. I noticed his body language while we were talking seemed a bit flirtatious, but I wasn't too sure what to think of it, because I've known him a long time and he's always been very friendly.

Anyway, we finally got into the car at around 3:00am, and before he even started driving he just said to me "look, I'm going to be honest, I kind of really just want to kiss you". I had been thinking exactly the same thing, and the chemistry was just incredible. We sat out the front of the bar just kissing for a while- his hand entwined in my hair, the other around my waist. It was great, instant chemistry.

So then he drove me home, and we just chatted the whole way. We got out the front of my place, and started kissing again. We just kissed for a long time. It was passionate, and it was hot. It was really nice to just kiss again, haven't focused on kissing in a long time.

Eventually I said "I think you should come inside", and he said he agreed. But then we just kept making out in the car. We just couldn't tear ourselves off each other. It was really exciting.

Eventually we made it to my room. And it was one of the best experiences I have ever had.

He was incredible.

He took his time with me- there was almost an hour of foreplay. I didn't feel at all any pressure to do anything- he focused on me most of the time, and I didn't feel that I had to reciprocate. Of course I did, and I went down on him for a long time and really enjoyed it. But I've never felt so relaxed with anyone on the first night- he completely just wanted me to breathe and enjoy the touch of his hands and tongue. I could tell that he was getting off on turning me on, and there was no need for me to do anything except enjoy.

It was so great to have a friend that I could connect with, take his time for us to share and appreciate each others' bodies, with no pressure and no stress or expectations.

When we eventually had sex, it was incredible. He'd teased me to the point where I couldn't take it any longer before touching me, and he'd waited until I couldn't take it for us to actually have sex.

It was just one of the best sexual experiences I have ever had- we connected, we were relaxed, we fucked passionately, there was spanking and hair pulling and kissing and biting and scratching and licking and moaning and talking dirty and laughing and everything good that should be a part of sex.

He's also a big cuddler- so we fell asleep in each other's arms, which was really lovely. The sex I've been having lately has just been wild fucking followed by a hug goodbye. This was so much better.

It's not going to turn into anything more- he doesn't want a relationship and there's no way that I can get into a relationship at this point in my life either. But I really hope that we can do it again. I'm not sure if we will, because I know he is pursuing a girl at the moment, and even though he doesn't want a relationship, he seems to really like her.

But he's really left me wanting more.

I was really happy as well that he felt comfortable enough to hang around in the morning, he didn't leave until after midday.

So basically, fellas- if you get off on getting us off, we will crave more.

It has been too long.

I apologise for the gap in between posts! I have a lot to say but I probably won't remember the most of it. I will try though.

I've still been sleeping with my friend. I had been starting to be concerned that he can't really fuck me, so I started talking to him online and telling him I want to be fucked like I'm being punished, working him up to spank me and pull my hair and hold my hair and use my mouth to fuck his cock.

And it worked. He picked me up from a friend's house, we'd been smoking so I was reasonably high. And we didn't just have great sex- we had great car sex!! It was so brutal and urgent that my underwear was on the entire time. He used my bra to hold on to me like reins on a horse. My underwear was pulled to the side so violently it was pulling on my ass. He pulled my hair and scratched my back and fucked me while I told him how much I wanted him to cum inside me.

But he didn't cum inside me- I finished him off with my mouth, and he came so much and so hard, it just got me even wetter. I've never seen so much cum in my life, it was all over his cock and my hands and chest and mouth.

The other night I briefly met one of the guys I've been talking to from the dating site. We have incredible chemistry online and on the phone, but as soon as I met him I just got the feeling that he's gay, and I didn't feel a connection. I'm not sure if he'll want to see me again but I'm kind of hoping he doesn't ask so that I don't have to make excuses...

What else.... One of my exes has been contacting me a lot... I don't think we should get involved with each other again though, we're both in very vulnerable states right now, and I don't think we'll do each other any good. Also I couldn't commit to a relationship with him, or anyone right now. I'm not sure if I'm going to have to have a "talk" with him about everything, but I feel that it might be coming...

The other thing that's reasonably significant, is that yesterday I decided to try selling my worn underwear online! I figure it's a harmless way to help satisfy peoples' cravings, whilst making some much needed money... I don't think it harms my integrity, it's anonymous, and in all honesty it's a bit of a turn on to know that people can enjoy them. I love my own smell, so I like the idea of somebody making themselves cum with my panties on their face.

Surely I had more things to write about, but it's the end of semester so I have been so snowed under with uni that I can't really remember much more...

OH YES!! Go have a look back at my "Up late playing Shot, Fuck, Marry" post from June this year- I spoke to Person 5 online the other day. He's still overseas, but we got talking about sex and threesomes and fantasies, and it just got to a certain point where I told him I didn't know what else to talk to him about without it turning into cybersex. There was a pause, and he said "fuck it, are you wet?".

This was incredibly fucking exciting for me, because I have wanted this guy FOR YEARS, and there has always been this incredible, unspoken sexual tension. We started talking dirty to each other, but then his roommate walked in and he had to go.

I haven't heard from him since, which is kind of disappointing, but he tends to disappear for a while and then reemerge. I do really hope that we fuck one day. I've never wanted anyone so badly in my life.

I think that is it right now.

Although I don't feel I'm much closer to my goal of sex with a woman, or a threesome! Once semester is over I should be able to go out more and meet more people. Wanted to go gay clubbing tonight but I'm sick so I'm just home on the couch.

I'm incredibly horny though, so I might have to move to bed soon and fuck myself silly.
I've been considering trying to teach myself to squirt, but I don't even think I like the idea of it. I'm not sure...

I do know that the idea of eating a girl out gets me really wet, and I also want to have a girl go down on me.

And I'm trying to get the friend I've been sleeping with to organise a threesome. Hopefully he knows someone he can call on to join the fun.