Up late playing Shoot, Fuck, Marry.

The title's not entirely true.

I'm up late, that's for sure. But all I'm really doing is going through my Facebook contacts and picking out the ones I would fuck.

It's amazing how many people I know, but how few I feel that kind of a connection to. I have just under 500 Facebook friends. Out of all those people- only 9 made the cut!

Nine people! That works out to around 0.5%! That's around 1 in every 200 people within my Facebook population that I would sleep with!

And here's the list:

Person 1: I've already slept with him, around three years ago, very early on in my sex life. He's reasonably religious so he probably hasn't slept with anyone since me. Can't imagine he'd be great in bed. Very attractive, but insanely boring to be around. Terrible conversation, and too easily offended. Also doesn't have a huge dick. I won't lie, size does matter to me. My ex was 8 heavenly inches long. Mmmmmmm.

Person 2: The first girl I found myself attracted to. The insanely kinky dreams I've had about her were the main catalyst for my realisation that I am into girls. Amazing body, incredible boobs. Younger than me, but always flirtatious. Would love to smack that ass.

But I would never act on it, unless I bumped into her and we were both completely inebriated. Unlikely.

Person 3: Already slept with him. Overseas. It was one of those drunken, backpacker nights where we had to find anywhere we could to do the deed. However I'd like to redo this encounter, properly this time, in a bed, sober, where we can take our time. He was good looking and also really fucking kinky- fucked me good and hard in the short time we had.

He was also a really fun person to be around.

This reunion is not going to happen due to the simple fact that we are separated by the equator.

Person 4: Slept with him, too. Well, kinda. It was in for a little bit....then it was too soft to be of any use! I reckon he deserves a chance to redeem himself.

However he's just come out of a long-term relationship as well, and we've both managed to remain friends since we were seeing each other. Fucking would be a mistake.

But this one is a mistake I might just consider making.....

Person 5: Met this one around two years ago, and have just wanted to tear his clothes of and jump him from the word go. However we were both in relationships when we met. And, once again, the fact that we live in different hemispheres isn't really helping my cause.

But if I ever see him again at a time when we're both single, I am going to make him fuck my little brains out.

Person 6: In all honesty I'm not even sure if I would fuck this girl or not. I haven't seen her in almost three years, and I remember being attracted to her then, but it may have just been because I was only just coming to terms with my sexuality and she was hitting on me....

Anyway, she's living overseas as well, so this one's void either way!

Person 7: I would let this girl fuck me from every possible angle. We've kissed before but that's it. I should have made more of an effort in retrospect- she was always telling me about her sex toys and previous sexual experiences. I was too naive at that point to really pick up on anything.... Even though we'd been on a date....

Anyway, not only is she in a relationship now, but she's over in the wrong hemisphere along with the others.

I'M ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WORLD!

Person 8: I feel guilty posting this one. Recent ex's good friend. Love him as a friend, and never ever considered him in this way until just now. But he's good looking and has an accent, double win for me. Plus I reckon he'd be able to handle me in bed.

However I would never ever ever ever do that to my ex, and I know that he would never do that to his friend either.

Person 8: Kind of an odd one... He's a mate, and I'm not really attracted to him..... But he wanted me for a long time, and once used his bar-tending powers to get me drunk enough to end up half naked on top of him in my bed after dropping me home one night.... And the odd thing is that the chemistry was actually really great! He was bold and rough- scratched my back and bit my neck, definitely a win with me.

But I'd probably have to be pretty drunk to go there again, because the only reason I feel I could sleep with him is because of the way he hooked up with me that night. Other than that, I feel no attraction.

So.... 500 friends, 9 of which I would sleep with.

Of those nine, four are overseas, two I would have to be pretty wasted to go ahead with, one is just a silly thought that I would never actually want to go ahead with, and the remaining two I would only do in order to try and cheer myself up in the rebound stage, and would probably regret it afterwards!


Wow, I wrote this to pass time and cheer myself up, but I've only managed to depress myself!

So I'll end with a picture that makes me feel good again.

YAY!