Well, my absolute very first impression upon meeting this guy tonight was "oh, he's gay!". That was also my second and third thought. After that I had that small moment of panic of why the fuck am I meeting a guy from a dating website, followed by the "I just want my boyfriend back" moment. But after that I relaxed and thought, why the fuck not. And if he's gay, so the fuck what! I went with no great expectations, and came back with a new friend. Could have been far worse.
I got a definite 'friend vibe' throughout the evening, and I'm really hoping he didn't feel anything more either. He wants us to meet again to play some music, which I would like, but I think maybe I should make it clear that I'm not up for anything more than music?
I have made some pretty sweet internet friends. Most of them are in Canada, which makes it kind of more appealing in a way, because they're so unreachable. One of them wrote me a song, which is amazing.
Another one I've developed a pretty awesome connection with. I always looked down on the whole making "friends" over the internet thing. And to an extent, I still think that it's not the same- you can get to know lots about someone over the net, but chatting through text (or even Skype) and looking at photos doesn't really help you to know someone as you would face to face. Still, this one guy in particular is changing my opinion on interactions over the web. I guess sometimes if a connection is strong it will just happen regardless. However it would be interesting to see if we would even get along at all in real life. Maybe we have these ideas of each other that we can't actually fullfil. I heard once that we draw meaning from the words we hear and read according to past experiences in our lives. So the way that one person interprets a sentence is never exactly the same as another person exposed to the same sentence. So who knows, we might think we're on the same page, but really we might be so far off.
But I don't think so.
I still don't believe in starting a relationship over the internet, or even that it's possible to fall in love without meeting someone in person. Love is very chemical, and very physical. The ex once said to me that if we hadn't had sex, he couldn't have fallen in love with me. At first I took offence, but then I realised what he was saying- not that he loved me because I slept with him, but that sex is such a huge part of connecting with another person. That the way we connected before, during and after sex, really cemented our feelings for each other.
That's about all I'm going to write for tonight, I have to be up for work in around 6 or so hours. Tomorrow I might write some more about some of the types of people who have been contacting me through these online dating sites! It gets pretty absurd!!!
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