Firstly I have to apologise for not posting in so long. So much has happened that I haven't even had the energy to write. My family life has been a bit awol, and I've been dealing with organising study and pressures at work. But I have a lot to write about.
I've been very tired, either physically or emotionally, every time I've thought about writing, and I just haven't been able to put my heart into it. But tonight I'm feeling good. Even though I should be going to sleep because it's 2:15 in the morning, I think it's time I posted again.
Also a quick disclaimer to anyone who has tried to reach me by email over the past few months- I am still alive and having sex, and I will reply to each and every one of you in due course. Sorry for making you wait, I do really love getting emails from my readers, I like to know that my words have some kind of an impact, on whatever scale. =]
Tonight I was at a friend's place with a small group, just relaxing and hanging about talking. Two of my friends came back to my place and we just spoke about sex and relationships. It was so nice to speak openly with two close friends who are like-minded. So our chat has got me in the right mind-frame to blog again.
I guess the first thing I should mention is that I have been seeing my ex again. I won't go into the details of how or why it happened, because it was quite a personal situation that had us meet again, but the first night I saw him again, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We ended up just talking in my car until very late, and eventually we kissed. It felt like we had only seen each other yesterday, and in the end I gave up and invited him in. We hung around most of the next day, and it was as if we had never been apart. He kept saying he didn't know what any of this meant, but I told him I didn't care. It is so nice having him in my life again, even if it is just for now. I've been really good at switching my mind off and just feeling instead of thinking, and it makes it so much easier to just be.
So far the past month or two we have been texting each other most days, and seeing one another every couple of weeks. The sex has been mind-blowing. I think time apart has done us good, and I in particular have relaxed a lot and feel much more free trying new things with him than when we were together. I think being single, and also having this blog and communicating with my readers, has been really helpful in becoming all the more comfortable with my sexuality, my wants and desires, and also in actually being able to realise and express what it is that I want.
The last time I slept with him was quite probably the best sex I have ever had. And funnily enough- it was anal! It's funny, writing about sex with him feels a lot more scary than when I write about it with others, because it means so much more. I feel like the sex I share with him should be kept between us. I will however say that I fulfilled my desire of being fucked from behind while holding my vibrator inside my pussy.
It was incredible, and he went down on me with one finger in my ass and two in my pussy, and my God it was intense!
Kissing him is one of the best things in the world. I had forgotten just how incredibly his lips feel against mine, against my neck, against my body.
I don't know exactly how we feel about one another anymore, but I'm very happy with whatever it is that we are doing at the moment.
The other thing about writing this post now that I've been seeing my ex again, is that I'm more paranoid than ever that he, or someone we know, might see this. It wouldn't be too hard to work out who I am for those who know me closely enough. But I love having this blog, it makes me feel free to express myself, and I also like the idea that people are reading and sharing fantasies. I want to be able to help people express their own sexuality, and become more comfortable discussing sex.
I went away on a week-long holiday with a big group of my friends a couple of weeks ago. I shared a room with two of my very close male friends. One night, one friend and I went to bed earlier than the other, and we started talking about sex, and how we both believed that friends should be able to sleep together without it being awkward. It would be so much easier if we, as people, could all switch off our inner monologue, our ideas of right and wrong, and just relax in one another's presence. Of course this doesn't apply to all friends- some of my very close friends I could never sleep with, there's no chemistry in that way, and it just wouldn't feel right. But in some cases, it would be so much easier if it were socially acceptable for friends to sleep together and still be the same old friends the next day.
I'll write one more thing before I go to sleep, just because I think it's a fun story to share.
I was out one night with my group, we were all very drunk, and one of my girl friends and I decided we wanted to see two of the guys in the group kiss. So, of course, we did the whole pre-teen deal of if you make out we'll make out.
So they did.
And we did.
And it was actually really awesome. It was a really hot kiss, and even though I've never seen her as a sexual person, and she identifies as straight, she definitely stepped up to the occasion, and it was a lot of fun. It was hot, and it didn't change anything, which was great.
It's nice finding people with a relaxed attitude about everything.
I'm sorry if this has been a bit rambly, it's late and I'm starting to feel the tiredness. I intend on posting again soon, and on replying to all the emails I have marked with a little star in my inbox! =]
I would love to get some suggestions on what you'd like to see an entry on next, so feel free to leave a comment on the blog or shoot me through an email, I will start replying ASAP, I swear!
Have a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, and start to 2012!!
Love K =]
Also a quick disclaimer to anyone who has tried to reach me by email over the past few months- I am still alive and having sex, and I will reply to each and every one of you in due course. Sorry for making you wait, I do really love getting emails from my readers, I like to know that my words have some kind of an impact, on whatever scale. =]
Tonight I was at a friend's place with a small group, just relaxing and hanging about talking. Two of my friends came back to my place and we just spoke about sex and relationships. It was so nice to speak openly with two close friends who are like-minded. So our chat has got me in the right mind-frame to blog again.
I guess the first thing I should mention is that I have been seeing my ex again. I won't go into the details of how or why it happened, because it was quite a personal situation that had us meet again, but the first night I saw him again, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We ended up just talking in my car until very late, and eventually we kissed. It felt like we had only seen each other yesterday, and in the end I gave up and invited him in. We hung around most of the next day, and it was as if we had never been apart. He kept saying he didn't know what any of this meant, but I told him I didn't care. It is so nice having him in my life again, even if it is just for now. I've been really good at switching my mind off and just feeling instead of thinking, and it makes it so much easier to just be.
So far the past month or two we have been texting each other most days, and seeing one another every couple of weeks. The sex has been mind-blowing. I think time apart has done us good, and I in particular have relaxed a lot and feel much more free trying new things with him than when we were together. I think being single, and also having this blog and communicating with my readers, has been really helpful in becoming all the more comfortable with my sexuality, my wants and desires, and also in actually being able to realise and express what it is that I want.
The last time I slept with him was quite probably the best sex I have ever had. And funnily enough- it was anal! It's funny, writing about sex with him feels a lot more scary than when I write about it with others, because it means so much more. I feel like the sex I share with him should be kept between us. I will however say that I fulfilled my desire of being fucked from behind while holding my vibrator inside my pussy.
It was incredible, and he went down on me with one finger in my ass and two in my pussy, and my God it was intense!
Kissing him is one of the best things in the world. I had forgotten just how incredibly his lips feel against mine, against my neck, against my body.
I don't know exactly how we feel about one another anymore, but I'm very happy with whatever it is that we are doing at the moment.
The other thing about writing this post now that I've been seeing my ex again, is that I'm more paranoid than ever that he, or someone we know, might see this. It wouldn't be too hard to work out who I am for those who know me closely enough. But I love having this blog, it makes me feel free to express myself, and I also like the idea that people are reading and sharing fantasies. I want to be able to help people express their own sexuality, and become more comfortable discussing sex.
I went away on a week-long holiday with a big group of my friends a couple of weeks ago. I shared a room with two of my very close male friends. One night, one friend and I went to bed earlier than the other, and we started talking about sex, and how we both believed that friends should be able to sleep together without it being awkward. It would be so much easier if we, as people, could all switch off our inner monologue, our ideas of right and wrong, and just relax in one another's presence. Of course this doesn't apply to all friends- some of my very close friends I could never sleep with, there's no chemistry in that way, and it just wouldn't feel right. But in some cases, it would be so much easier if it were socially acceptable for friends to sleep together and still be the same old friends the next day.
I'll write one more thing before I go to sleep, just because I think it's a fun story to share.
I was out one night with my group, we were all very drunk, and one of my girl friends and I decided we wanted to see two of the guys in the group kiss. So, of course, we did the whole pre-teen deal of if you make out we'll make out.
So they did.
And we did.
And it was actually really awesome. It was a really hot kiss, and even though I've never seen her as a sexual person, and she identifies as straight, she definitely stepped up to the occasion, and it was a lot of fun. It was hot, and it didn't change anything, which was great.
It's nice finding people with a relaxed attitude about everything.
I'm sorry if this has been a bit rambly, it's late and I'm starting to feel the tiredness. I intend on posting again soon, and on replying to all the emails I have marked with a little star in my inbox! =]
I would love to get some suggestions on what you'd like to see an entry on next, so feel free to leave a comment on the blog or shoot me through an email, I will start replying ASAP, I swear!
Have a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, and start to 2012!!
Love K =]
