A long story after a long break.

Firstly I have to apologise for not posting in so long. So much has happened that I haven't even had the energy to write. My family life has been a bit awol, and I've been dealing with organising study and pressures at work. But I have a lot to write about.

I've been very tired, either physically or emotionally, every time I've thought about writing, and I just haven't been able to put my heart into it. But tonight I'm feeling good. Even though I should be going to sleep because it's 2:15 in the morning, I think it's time I posted again.
Also a quick disclaimer to anyone who has tried to reach me by email over the past few months- I am still alive and having sex, and I will reply to each and every one of you in due course. Sorry for making you wait, I do really love getting emails from my readers, I like to know that my words have some kind of an impact, on whatever scale. =]

Tonight I was at a friend's place with a small group, just relaxing and hanging about talking. Two of my friends came back to my place and we just spoke about sex and relationships. It was so nice to speak openly with two close friends who are like-minded. So our chat has got me in the right mind-frame to blog again.
I guess the first thing I should mention is that I have been seeing my ex again. I won't go into the details of how or why it happened, because it was quite a personal situation that had us meet again, but the first night I saw him again, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. We ended up just talking in my car until very late, and eventually we kissed. It felt like we had only seen each other yesterday, and in the end I gave up and invited him in. We hung around most of the next day, and it was as if we had never been apart. He kept saying he didn't know what any of this meant, but I told him I didn't care. It is so nice having him in my life again, even if it is just for now. I've been really good at switching my mind off and just feeling instead of thinking, and it makes it so much easier to just be.
So far the past month or two we have been texting each other most days, and seeing one another every couple of weeks. The sex has been mind-blowing. I think time apart has done us good, and I in particular have relaxed a lot and feel much more free trying new things with him than when we were together. I think being single, and also having this blog and communicating with my readers, has been really helpful in becoming all the more comfortable with my sexuality, my wants and desires, and also in actually being able to realise and express what it is that I want.

The last time I slept with him was quite probably the best sex I have ever had. And funnily enough- it was anal! It's funny, writing about sex with him feels a lot more scary than when I write about it with others, because it means so much more. I feel like the sex I share with him should be kept between us. I will however say that I fulfilled my desire of being fucked from behind while holding my vibrator inside my pussy.
It was incredible, and he went down on me with one finger in my ass and two in my pussy, and my God it was intense!
Kissing him is one of the best things in the world. I had forgotten just how incredibly his lips feel against mine, against my neck, against my body.
I don't know exactly how we feel about one another anymore, but I'm very happy with whatever it is that we are doing at the moment.

The other thing about writing this post now that I've been seeing my ex again, is that I'm more paranoid than ever that he, or someone we know, might see this. It wouldn't be too hard to work out who I am for those who know me closely enough. But I love having this blog, it makes me feel free to express myself, and I also like the idea that people are reading and sharing fantasies. I want to be able to help people express their own sexuality, and become more comfortable discussing sex.
I went away on a week-long holiday with a big group of my friends a couple of weeks ago. I shared a room with two of my very close male friends. One night, one friend and I went to bed earlier than the other, and we started talking about sex, and how we both believed that friends should be able to sleep together without it being awkward. It would be so much easier if we, as people, could all switch off our inner monologue, our ideas of right and wrong, and just relax in one another's presence. Of course this doesn't apply to all friends- some of my very close friends I could never sleep with, there's no chemistry in that way, and it just wouldn't feel right. But in some cases, it would be so much easier if it were socially acceptable for friends to sleep together and still be the same old friends the next day.

I'll write one more thing before I go to sleep, just because I think it's a fun story to share.
I was out one night with my group, we were all very drunk, and one of my girl friends and I decided we wanted to see two of the guys in the group kiss. So, of course, we did the whole pre-teen deal of if you make out we'll make out.
So they did.
And we did.
And it was actually really awesome. It was a really hot kiss, and even though I've never seen her as a sexual person, and she identifies as straight, she definitely stepped up to the occasion, and it was a lot of fun. It was hot, and it didn't change anything, which was great.

It's nice finding people with a relaxed attitude about everything.
I'm sorry if this has been a bit rambly, it's late and I'm starting to feel the tiredness. I intend on posting again soon, and on replying to all the emails I have marked with a little star in my inbox! =]
I would love to get some suggestions on what you'd like to see an entry on next, so feel free to leave a comment on the blog or shoot me through an email, I will start replying ASAP, I swear!

Have a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, and start to 2012!!
Love K =]

Something to blog about.

I'm a little euphoric today.

Yesterday was a shitty day. I was missing the ex, I was stressed, I was horny, nothing was fulfilling me at all.

I went out anyway because a friend was here from interstate for a family thing. So I went with her to see her, but left pretty early because I was in a pretty foul mood and wanted to get some sleep so that I could get a start on my essay today. I decided, however, to pop in to a bar on the way home where my friends all were. It was a night were a few of my friends who are in bands were performing. I was only going to pop in and say hi, but when I got there one band that a few of my friends are in was about to start playing. I hadn't heard them play before, so I decided I might as well stay and listen.

They were amazing, and I was put in a better mood hanging around everyone, and started to perk up.

One of my friends was the guitarist in the band, and he was so fucking incredible I watched him most of the time, not the lead singer.

I've always had a bit of a crush on him. Anyway, he was my ride home, because he lives just up the street from me. But instead of leaving at 1:00 when they finished playing, we actually got caught up chatting at the bar for a while. A couple of my friends joined us, and we all ended up speaking about sex. This friend has the same attitude about it as I do- free and open about everything. I noticed his body language while we were talking seemed a bit flirtatious, but I wasn't too sure what to think of it, because I've known him a long time and he's always been very friendly.

Anyway, we finally got into the car at around 3:00am, and before he even started driving he just said to me "look, I'm going to be honest, I kind of really just want to kiss you". I had been thinking exactly the same thing, and the chemistry was just incredible. We sat out the front of the bar just kissing for a while- his hand entwined in my hair, the other around my waist. It was great, instant chemistry.

So then he drove me home, and we just chatted the whole way. We got out the front of my place, and started kissing again. We just kissed for a long time. It was passionate, and it was hot. It was really nice to just kiss again, haven't focused on kissing in a long time.

Eventually I said "I think you should come inside", and he said he agreed. But then we just kept making out in the car. We just couldn't tear ourselves off each other. It was really exciting.

Eventually we made it to my room. And it was one of the best experiences I have ever had.

He was incredible.

He took his time with me- there was almost an hour of foreplay. I didn't feel at all any pressure to do anything- he focused on me most of the time, and I didn't feel that I had to reciprocate. Of course I did, and I went down on him for a long time and really enjoyed it. But I've never felt so relaxed with anyone on the first night- he completely just wanted me to breathe and enjoy the touch of his hands and tongue. I could tell that he was getting off on turning me on, and there was no need for me to do anything except enjoy.

It was so great to have a friend that I could connect with, take his time for us to share and appreciate each others' bodies, with no pressure and no stress or expectations.

When we eventually had sex, it was incredible. He'd teased me to the point where I couldn't take it any longer before touching me, and he'd waited until I couldn't take it for us to actually have sex.

It was just one of the best sexual experiences I have ever had- we connected, we were relaxed, we fucked passionately, there was spanking and hair pulling and kissing and biting and scratching and licking and moaning and talking dirty and laughing and everything good that should be a part of sex.

He's also a big cuddler- so we fell asleep in each other's arms, which was really lovely. The sex I've been having lately has just been wild fucking followed by a hug goodbye. This was so much better.

It's not going to turn into anything more- he doesn't want a relationship and there's no way that I can get into a relationship at this point in my life either. But I really hope that we can do it again. I'm not sure if we will, because I know he is pursuing a girl at the moment, and even though he doesn't want a relationship, he seems to really like her.

But he's really left me wanting more.

I was really happy as well that he felt comfortable enough to hang around in the morning, he didn't leave until after midday.

So basically, fellas- if you get off on getting us off, we will crave more.

It has been too long.

I apologise for the gap in between posts! I have a lot to say but I probably won't remember the most of it. I will try though.

I've still been sleeping with my friend. I had been starting to be concerned that he can't really fuck me, so I started talking to him online and telling him I want to be fucked like I'm being punished, working him up to spank me and pull my hair and hold my hair and use my mouth to fuck his cock.

And it worked. He picked me up from a friend's house, we'd been smoking so I was reasonably high. And we didn't just have great sex- we had great car sex!! It was so brutal and urgent that my underwear was on the entire time. He used my bra to hold on to me like reins on a horse. My underwear was pulled to the side so violently it was pulling on my ass. He pulled my hair and scratched my back and fucked me while I told him how much I wanted him to cum inside me.

But he didn't cum inside me- I finished him off with my mouth, and he came so much and so hard, it just got me even wetter. I've never seen so much cum in my life, it was all over his cock and my hands and chest and mouth.

The other night I briefly met one of the guys I've been talking to from the dating site. We have incredible chemistry online and on the phone, but as soon as I met him I just got the feeling that he's gay, and I didn't feel a connection. I'm not sure if he'll want to see me again but I'm kind of hoping he doesn't ask so that I don't have to make excuses...

What else.... One of my exes has been contacting me a lot... I don't think we should get involved with each other again though, we're both in very vulnerable states right now, and I don't think we'll do each other any good. Also I couldn't commit to a relationship with him, or anyone right now. I'm not sure if I'm going to have to have a "talk" with him about everything, but I feel that it might be coming...

The other thing that's reasonably significant, is that yesterday I decided to try selling my worn underwear online! I figure it's a harmless way to help satisfy peoples' cravings, whilst making some much needed money... I don't think it harms my integrity, it's anonymous, and in all honesty it's a bit of a turn on to know that people can enjoy them. I love my own smell, so I like the idea of somebody making themselves cum with my panties on their face.

Surely I had more things to write about, but it's the end of semester so I have been so snowed under with uni that I can't really remember much more...

OH YES!! Go have a look back at my "Up late playing Shot, Fuck, Marry" post from June this year- I spoke to Person 5 online the other day. He's still overseas, but we got talking about sex and threesomes and fantasies, and it just got to a certain point where I told him I didn't know what else to talk to him about without it turning into cybersex. There was a pause, and he said "fuck it, are you wet?".

This was incredibly fucking exciting for me, because I have wanted this guy FOR YEARS, and there has always been this incredible, unspoken sexual tension. We started talking dirty to each other, but then his roommate walked in and he had to go.

I haven't heard from him since, which is kind of disappointing, but he tends to disappear for a while and then reemerge. I do really hope that we fuck one day. I've never wanted anyone so badly in my life.

I think that is it right now.

Although I don't feel I'm much closer to my goal of sex with a woman, or a threesome! Once semester is over I should be able to go out more and meet more people. Wanted to go gay clubbing tonight but I'm sick so I'm just home on the couch.

I'm incredibly horny though, so I might have to move to bed soon and fuck myself silly.
I've been considering trying to teach myself to squirt, but I don't even think I like the idea of it. I'm not sure...

I do know that the idea of eating a girl out gets me really wet, and I also want to have a girl go down on me.

And I'm trying to get the friend I've been sleeping with to organise a threesome. Hopefully he knows someone he can call on to join the fun.

I kissed a girl.

Well, Thursday was a great night.

I was sick, so I slept all day, then got up and went to the city at 6:00 to meet the girl from the dating site. She was lovely, and we spoke heaps, but it was more of a "friend" thing, and I didn't feel an attraction to her.

After meeting with her, I went to a friend's house to start drinking for the night out at the gay club. We had some good talks, and it was great seeing him because I hadn't seen him in a long time.

We headed out to the club at around 11:00. It was a great night. There were lots of people I knew there, and I had lots of great random conversations with people. I always make quite a few friends when I'm out gay clubbing. I love dancing with randoms.

I'm not flowing very well right now, because I'm tired and still sick.

I was dancing like crazy at the club, and saw this girl looking at me. She was OK looking, but not someone I'd normally approach. Anyway, she had a lip ring and big boobs, win and win, so I gave her the eyes back, and kept dancing. She looked at me a few times and I looked back, and eventually she just reached over, grabbed my arm and pulled me over to her.

I danced with her, and we ended up making out for a while. It was great fun, I haven't made out with a girl in a long while, and I'd forgotten how much I do in fact enjoy it. It's such a different feeling, kissing a girl. We're so much softer than boys... I definitely need to hook up with girls more often.

I need to sleep with a woman.

I'd been texting the friend I've been sleeping with all night, and I told him I made out with a girl, and that it had made me even hornier. I ended up back at his place, at around 4:30am. We lay in bed and put on some lesbian porn, and fucked while it played. I've always wanted to have sex while watching porn. The ex and I were going to do that, but never did.

Just writing this makes me want to fuck again. But I can't booty call him every night... And he is sleeping with a fair few people, so I don't want to seem too reliant on him.

I really like the arrangement with him- we watched porn, fucked, then watched South Park and talked about other people we're fucking or wanting to fuck. It's very clear that we're just fuck buddies, which is so rare for it to actually work. It's great because we obviously care about each other, but not as anything more than friends.

He drove me home at 7:00am, and I slept most of Friday, too.

Then one of my friends came and picked me up on Friday night, and we went to an art exhibition, then a 21st. I didn't know anyone at the party, I went as my friend's +1. Luckily he didn't want to have a big night, and we were home by around 10:00. He came in to see my parents, and I was just so tired that he ended up tucking me in at 10:30, which was so sweet. I fell pretty much straight asleep.

Today I worked all day, and I'm at home now getting ready for another early night. Tomorrow I've been called in to work, so I won't be meeting the other online dating guy, but I asked him if we could reschedule to next week.

I had a few texts from the guy I went out with on Tuesday night. I've had a funny feeling about him since even before the date, and he just seemed way to keen. His texts just seemed far too much as well, and I decided to call it off before it got any further. I didn't want to hurt him, and it just seemed as though he wanted something far more serious than I did. I wasn't all that attracted to him either, and I kind of felt manipulated into agreeing to a second date in the first place.

I told him we shouldn't see each other again because I'm still hung up on my ex, which is not a complete lie. But I just didn't see it going anywhere good, I think better sooner rather than later with this guy, because I really couldn't imagine feeling any better about it, seeing as I felt uncomfortable about it from the start.

I miss my ex, but I've been feeling a lot stronger about it since writing that letter.
Need to find some more pussy though.

Oh also I texted the guy I met last Sunday, but he hasn't replied. Oh well, you can't win them all!

I'm on a high.

After I wrote that letter to the ex, I actually started feeling a lot better. I cried a lot, and I put into words some things that have sort of just been floating around my head for the past few months. So I was in a pretty good mindset to kick off the weekend.

And what a weekend it was.

I worked on Saturday, and then that night I went over to one of my best friend's house to have hot chocolate and cake with him, as he's coming out of a relationship at the moment too.

After we chatted for a good long time, we headed out to a friend's house party. It was a great night, most of our group was there, and we just relaxed and chatted about meaningless things, and laughed and danced until the early hours of the morning. I drank far more than I realised, but it was great. We got home at 5:00am and the birds were chirping. My friend slept over, and the next morning we went and got breakfast with two other friends who were at the party with us the night before. And then straight on to a local music festival!

So the whole of Sunday was spent at the festival, with friends, drinking and dancing. It was really warm and sunny for the first time in ages, and it was just such a great way to kick back and enjoy life.

The festival ended at 6:00, but the bars were still absolutely packed with bands and people playing all night long.

And this is where my weekend starts to get even more interesting.

I was in a pub, with my friends. And a girl started talking to me, and offered me some scotch from a bottle she had snuck into her bag. We were speaking for a long time, and eventually, this conversation took place:

Girl: I've always wanted to have sex with a woman. You're hot, I'd sleep with you.

Me: I'd sleep with you, too.

Girl: But I have a boyfriend.

Me: Too bad.

Girl: But he's given me permission to sleep with women.

Me: It doesn't have to be just you and me.

Girl: What do I do now? I can't just take your number for sex!
Me: Here's my card. You can stalk me on Facebook and decide what to do.

And then she left.

It was unbelievable- I can't believe I found myself in that situation! I need to get out more so I'm offered more threesomes!! Hahaha. I doubt she'll call, because she was pretty drunk. But it was a bit of a confidence booster, and gave my friends a good laugh.

Almost simultaneously to this happening, this absolutely gorgeous 28 year old man was talking to me. He was almost a male version of me, in that he was extremely forward and open about things. We were talking for a while and then he said "we are flirting, aren't we?". Which I found quite confronting, surprisingly enough- because that's the kind of thing that I say to people!

Anyway, we got on like a house on fire, even though I don't really like that expression. And he was funny, and easy to talk to...and pretty darn sexy.

At the end of the night, he asked to trade numbers, and we did. And then I made sure I got a sneaky kiss out of him as he was leaving.

I really hope he calls, because he was great fun, attractive, and I want more than just a sneaky kiss. If I don't hear from him by the end of the week, I'm going to contact him myself.

At around 10:00pm a few of us went back to two of my friends' apartment and got high. It was one of the best nights of my life- because all of us were on an incredibly good high, and just laughed and laughed until around 3:00am.

I stayed the night and the next morning went to breakfast again with my two friends whose apartment it is.

So we are on to Monday now. Most of the day I just spent shopping and doing routine things. Then went to our regular pub with my group. It wasn't as huge a group as sometimes, only the really dedicated people showed up after our big weekend.

The friend that I've been sleeping with was there, working behind the bar. I left at close, around midnight, but he had to stay back another hour to clean. So I went to McDonalds with two friends, and we hung out in the car for a while.
Came back home, one of my friends dropped me off, and he ended up coming in to chat. We had a really great DnM in my room, was great to talk about things with someone I don't usually speak to that much about things that matter. I feel I've made lots of new good friends these past few months.

He hung out with me until my fuck-buddy came round, as I'd texted him from the car telling him to come over after work.

I felt bad ditching my friend for him, but I wasn't intending on asking him in, we just got talking. I promised him next time we will talk properly.

Anyway, about the sex.

It was great.

It was hot, and it was dirty.

And it was anal!

I wasn't intending on doing that with him, that's something I only thought I'd actually do with someone I'm in a relationship with, as it can go so wrong... But it didn't.

We were 69-ing, on our sides, and he was pushing my head all the way down onto his cock, which I fucking love, and I was really turned on at this stage. And he spat on my ass, which actually turned me on even more. And as he ate my pussy, he fingered me in the ass. Which just got me hornier and hornier. And then he ordered me to bend over, so I did, and his cock was so wet from my saliva that he was able to fuck me in the ass without any lube. It hurt at first, he has a really girthy cock. But it was actually surprisingly good, once we got into the rhythm of it.

I've done anal before, but the guy had a thin cock, and he never lasted long, so it wasn't that great.
But this was fun.

Of course I will always prefer being fucked in the pussy, but there was something just so raw and dirty and taboo and animalistic about this... And I played with my clit while he fucked me, and he came really fucking hard. He'd never done anal before.

He didn't stay over, because I still live with my parents, and they are starting to cotton on to us...

And Tuesday- again a pretty routine day. But I went on a date at night, with one of the guys from Speed Dating. I didn't really want it to be a date, in all honesty, I just wanted to make a friend. But I ended up back at his place, but I didn't sleep with him, I made it clear I wouldn't. We just walked along the beach. We did make out, and it was good. But he seemed very keen, and very affectionate. And I'm not in the place to get into a relationship, and I have a feeling he's going to want more than just casual...

Also I'm not really that attracted to him... I mean, there was chemistry when we kissed, but I just wasn't fully into it, I suppose.

Anyway, so that's my week so far, pretty much. Today I just stayed home, and I'm home tonight too.

I made out with three people in three days. And I might be meeting a girl from the dating site tomorrow night for coffee. I'm definitely going gay clubbing tomorrow night with some friends too. And on Sunday I'm meeting another guy from the dating site during the day.

I'm feeling good. And so long as I'm very clear with everybody about my intentions- casual sex, friends with benefits, seeing lots of different people- then no one should get hurt. That's my biggest issue with the guy I met with last night, I feel he's going to get attached. But if I see him again another couple of times, I'm going to have to be very clear that this will be short-term, because aside from not wanting a relationship, I can see myself losing interest in this guy pretty quickly, and I don't want to hurt him, because he seems to be a good person.

That's about it for now. I'm feeling good, and will post again after tomorrow- I really do hope to get some pussy soon.

Dear Broken Heart

I just wrote a letter to my ex. I didn't write it to send to him- I wrote it to get it all out of my head.

I thought I might post it here, just to give you guys a little more insight to who I am, and why I do the things I do.

This blog helps me vent, and it's all to do with the break-up, so... here it is. My dear ex-boyfriend letter. But it's a condensed version- the actual thing is 1457 words- that's how long my essay has to be! Damn, if only I could submit that!

OK, here goes... Despite the sexual fantasies and naked pictures, this is actually the most revealing thing I have ever posted on the net.

ExBoyfriend,

Just typing your name is hard enough.

I'm not intending on ever giving you this letter. I'm writing it for myself.

What happened is not your fault, and you don't deserve to see how much I'm hurting.

It has been almost four months. I met a girl when I was out one night who told me it takes about four months to feel better. And at times I do. I'm having more ups than downs, and I'm proud of my strength in dealing with this break-up.

But I'm not myself without you. I'm still in love with you.

I guess I've been dealing with this in a few ways. I've done the drinking until I can't walk thing. I've done the sex thing. I've even joined bloody online dating sites, and I'm posting naked photos of myself on the internet to get attention. Please don't find any of my posts. I reckon that would make you sad. And that's the last thing I want, for you to be sad.

I wish I knew what the fuck happened with us. I can't imagine a better boyfriend than you, you treated me like an angel and never let me doubt myself.

But we weren't perfect. When I look back on us, there are things that I noticed but didn't think anything of. To be honest I never felt that you gave me the trust I deserved from you. I'm not saying you didn't trust me- I know you did. But I could always feel that there was a part of you that felt either that I didn't deserve you, or that I'd find someone better. I should have been more confrontational. I have no idea how you would have dealt if I had brought something like that up.

There were other things, towards the end, I suppose. Things that I ignored because I could tell you were going through a shitty time- that you were in a bad headspace. The more I think about it, although I still don't want to believe this, I think you did stop loving me. Well, you fell out of love with me anyway.

And I don't know how, and I don't know why, and I never thought that could happen so fucking fast. 

You stopped thinking about me. And that still fucking hurts.

I think you were in such a fucked up headspace that you just wanted to be alone, away from everything.

And that's what broke us up.

I remember coming over and talking about it. And you didn't really know what to say. You could always console me, but not this time.

That fucking hurt.

And I finally started to accept that things weren't right.

I still love you. I still miss you. It still fucking hurts and I'm torn to pieces. I'm coping, but I'm broken.

I've never been angry at you, but I am disappointed that you didn't open your eyes and see for yourself.

I never felt I could make you understand how much I cared.

I love you, and I always will, I think. I wish you every fucking best thing that could ever happen to anyone- please be happy, be successful, be healthy, and be happy again. Please, please, please find happiness and stability. I want you to be strong, and I want you to love yourself.

Because you're amazing, and you're such a big part of me that I barely know who I am without you- but if you find yourself, that will ease the pain.

I love you.

Apologies for my long absence.

I've been busy. And also pretty satisfied. I write as an outlet so I don't tend to write as much when I'm content.

Well, I guess it's been so long that I can't really include too many details because I've forgotten a few things... I was going to break this down into a few entries so it's not too long, but I guess I can just skim over a few details. And include the juicy ones towards the end.....

I'll start off with my night out at the lesbian club. It was a great night. Neither my friend nor I picked up... But we had a great time. I met a cute girl, and I got the feeling she was into me. And I was hitting on her... And then suddenly I realised I thought she looked like me! So I actually freaked out and backed off, haha! I thought I was a narcissist, but apparently not quite! =P

Next- I did in fact sleep with my most recent "hook-up" friend. And it was great. He actually came over at around 2:00am one night. I was terrified, living at home, that my parents would figure out that I'd snuck him in. By the time I got him to my room my heart was pounding and the adrenaline was pumping. We fucked, and the chemistry was great. However it wasn't quite as rough as I would have liked... But I'm pretty certain that he just needs to warm up, get a bit more comfortable... Let go... He actually said he hoped he hadn't hurt me, and I responded with "if anything you didn't hurt me enough"...

I wasn't expecting him to stay the night, but he was intending on it. However, he had to go because his dad wanted to use the car.... And he was really apologetic about leaving, saying he didn't want to be "that guy". Which I thought was really lovely, but at the same time I kind of just wanted my bed to myself. =P But before he left, he ran his fingers down my body and we fucked again.

I've made a new online dating profile. It's not as filthy as the last site. But I don't particularly know if I want to meet anyone just yet. However I just saw someone I know on the site! Do I message him and make light of it, or pretend I never saw it? This is my biggest fear hahaha!!! Lucky I'm pretty open about all this so I don't mind people knowing I have the profile.

The next thing I should write about- SPEED DATING!

I went with one of my closest friends, and it was HILARIOUS! We had 19 six minute "dates", and you get to decide whether you want to be their friend, date, or nothing at all. My friend and I both ticked friend for pretty much everyone, and I ticked date for a couple... Which was funny, because we went all out- but it was also a little silly because that means that everyone who said that they wanted to be our friend or date, now has our details. That's about 14 people each. And we've both pledged to reply to everyone who contacts us.

Going to be interesting...

Lastly, before I go to bed- last night I went to a party and got drunker than I have ever been in my entire life. No exaggeration. A guy from online dating called me, and apparently I talk to him about threesomes... I haven't even met the guy yet! Oh my...

My fuck-friend ended up coming over, and the sex was indeed more "free" than last time... He fingered my ass while he fucked me, and I love that. Then in the morning we fucked again- it was so great to start the day with sex again.

Ok so maybe the details weren't quite as juicy as they could have been, but it's very late and I'm tired. I want to go make myself cum before bed....

I will aim to write something arousing for my next blog.

Meanwhile, I love this picture.

Horny all the time.

There have been a few things I've wanted to write about these past few days but just haven't got around to it. So I'll try and remember as much as I can before I go to bed. I'm on night 3 of a 7-day bender, so I'm not all there. =P

A few nights ago I was really missing the ex. I went away for the weekend for uni stuff and that helped to distract me. Sunday was supposed to be our 2 year anniversary.

I've been thinking about the first year or so of our relationship- we used to start having sex in our sleep, and wake up in the middle of fucking. It was amazing- to be so insanely attracted to one another that we'd just start fucking in our sleep, and both be surprised when we woke up, usually with me on top as we fucked passionately, having no idea how this started. I'll always miss that.

But I've been reasonably OK since the other night when I had my mini breakdown. They happen, it's still early.

Last night I ended up bringing a friend home, a different friend to the one I slept with a couple of weeks ago. We'd actually hooked up years ago, before I was with my ex. I think he's always been into me, but I've never been attracted to him. I'm still not really physically attracted to him, but god fucking damn it- the chemistry between us when we hook up is just fucking brilliant. We didn't have sex because we didn't have any condoms, but he did stay the night, and I made him cum.

He has a good cock. Not as long as my ex, but thick. Nice and thick.

I want him to fuck me. He seems to be able to handle me. I like the way he drags his fingernails down my back.

I'm hoping I'll see him on Saturday night- a few of my friends are coming over, we're going to get high in the garage. I hope he comes over and stays the night again. I've never had sex while high.

Also, this Thursday I'm going lesbian clubbing.
Bedtime now, but I'll post again soon.

It's been a while.

The other night started off pretty standard- watching lesbian porn and cumming while sitting on the floor next to my bed. But later on, as I was lying in bed playing with two of my toys- a cheap version of "the rabbit", and an equally cheap version of "the butterfly"- I decided I wanted my ass stimulated as well as my pussy. First I just tried putting my rabbit in upside down, so that its nose vibrated on my ass instead of my clit. But I needed more.
So I whipped out the lube, and shoved the entire, thick, vibrator into my ass. I then used the butterfly on my clit, and holy fuck- I came fast and HARD! It was amazing.

I'd wanted to do anal with the ex, and use my vibrator in my pussy at the same time, but we never got around to it. So that's another on the bucket list.
I found a porno of a girl fucking a guy in the ass with a toy, and although my "non-porn" brain isn't really into that, and I don't think I would enjoy doing it as I'm a submissive, I actually really got off to that video.

I'm actually really horny just writing that, so I might just have to discreetly whip out my butterfly again and hope no one comes into my room anytime soon.

I fixed my internet just after writing this.....PORN TIME!!!!

I haven't had access to the internet in a while, because my modem is stuffed, and I'm waiting for the new one to come in the mail. So I'm typing this on my laptop with no internet connection, and I'll save it to post when I'm back in action.

I should state that today is the end of Tuesday, August 9^th.

I went to the pub with my friends again last night, after hitting the gym, feeling fit and determined not to drink... That failed. I didn't drink a huge amount, but enough to stack the calories back on! Haha, oh well. We ended up in a van belonging to one of the guys in our group, singing really loudly outside a brothel until 2:00am. We even got two random girls to come into the van for a while, and a strange man offering us weed from outside the window (we declined).

I came home alone and blasted Katy Perry into my headphones while eating fried rice and drinking Bailey's. It was a friend's birthday that night- the friend through whom I met my ex; so I was not in the best frame of mind to be alone. Our anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks, but thank goodness I'm going to be busy all day, and I'm sure my friends will keep me occupied at night as well.

Well I guess I should backtrack now and fill you all in on what's been going on since I last posted! Although I'm not exactly sure when I last posted, and I can't get online to check... But I do know that I left off just before the planned threesome! Even the night before that I don't think I posted. So I'll start there.

On Friday night, a good friend of mine and I were going to have a quiet night in- watch some DVDs, save some money, get a good night's rest.... Yeah right. We ended up at a couple of bars with the group, and then somehow four of us wound up in an alley getting high with a guy we knew of, but didn't actually know. Got home at around 5:00am. Crazy, and oh so classy.

The friend I slept with the other week was there, but nothing happened. In fact he was there last night as well, and it was nice and friendly and casual. Although I noticed that seeing him flirt with other girls, I do feel a slight pang of jealousy. Completely unjustified, but it's there, a little. I'm very much in two minds about whether I should sleep with him again, but I think I should decide to just relax and take things as they come. If anything happens again organically, that's great, but I don't want to force anything. However at the same time I don't think he's the type to make the first move again, so part of me just wants to be blunt and say “look, I'd fuck you again. If you ever feel the same, just pull me aside, grab my waist and hold me by the back of the head while you kiss me. I'll get the hint”.

OK on to Saturday! I know a lot of you will be checking in on the whole threesome prospect- and unfortunately, I don't have a story to tell this time!
The couple was great, we got along, and they were both far better looking in person than in their pictures. However, because of my big Friday night, and the fact that they hadn't had any sleep the night before either, we all had a couple of drinks and then started to get insanely sleepy... So we called it a night and headed to our respective homes!
I know, right- too sleepy for a threesome? How the fuck OLD am I?!!
But I suppose it was better than forcing it and having a terrible time. It's pretty funny, when I think about it. Oh well, maybe one day I'll find myself in Sydney and will find them again, haha. Although I did email the second couple, the one that I thought was better looking to begin with- but I haven't heard from them again, so I get the feeling they may have chickened out.

Guess it's not quite as easy as I thought to find sex. HA!

I thought I had more to say, but I can't remember right now... I am, yet again, getting rather horny, and would love to have another person here to press my naked body up against... I love the feeling of warm chests pressing together.

I'm not too huge on masturbating, either. I get horny, but I don't really do much about it. Although I would love to get off to porn tonight, but thanks to my lousy lack of internet, that's out of the question. Even my iPhone has decided that the internet isn't a viable feature anymore!
So we'll see... I might bother to fantasise and get myself wet enough to touch myself... Or I might reach under my bed and grab my sex toys one by one... But more than likely I'll just tweak my nipples and feel my breasts up a bit before just going to sleep, and having equally uneventful dreams.

Someone please just burst into my room, tell me not to make a sound, and fuck me until I'm raw and begging for forgiveness.

This bed is too big for the one of me.

Ok, so I'm a little lonely.

I've realised I can get sex, if I want it that badly. But what I really miss is having someone text me in the morning and text me goodnight, and hold me close and look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me without any words.

It's been two months since the break up, but I still cry. Not as often, and I feel a lot stronger, but I still cry. And I will for a long time still, I think. I just love him so much, and to have that just slip away... It's a strange feeling. I miss him like Hell.

I've been dreaming about him a lot. Last night I woke up almost in tears, and it wasn't even a bad dream- just a dream that we were together.

And this is where I need to be careful not to make any wrong moves with the friend that I slept with the other night- because I know him, and we're relatively close, there was an emotional connection. It felt safe. And I want more.

But I can't mistake those feelings for anything more than friendship, and I can't get myself into a relationship based on false pretences. But at the same time I do want to sleep with him again. Not just for the sex- mainly for the closeness. The holding, and the kissing, and the stupid jokes and talking all night and laughing about things that don't really matter, and having deep philosophical discussions that make us seem so small in the scheme of things.

Holding on to each other like if it were the end of the world, we would be happy to end together, in the moment, as one, for all eternity.

That's how we were.

I have no idea how I lost all that so suddenly.

I got laid.

This weekend has been great.

Friday night was pretty hilarious. Turns out the music was angry, and so were the lesbians, so that answered my question for the night. Haha. I'm definitely not into "angry rock", lesbian or not, but it was good to see the friend I went with and we had a good laugh about the whole situation and atmosphere.

Then last night was the 21st- the last one out of my friendship group, so we all got pretty drunk and stayed out really late. I had an email from the ex earlier in the day which made me extremely emotional, but I was happy to hear from him and happy with my response, too- basically that if he thinks we have a chance then I'm happy to see where it goes, but if he's not in love with me anymore then I can't be in touch right now. I do most definitely want him in my life, but if it's going to be a "just friends" arrangement, I am absolutely not ready for that yet. I am yet to receive a reply.

Anyway, back to the party- it was so great to hang around all my high school friends in one place. At around 4:00am a few of us realised we were the last people there, so I came home with three friends and we kept having a few drinks in my lounge. Then one of them went home, and two stayed over- one in the spare room, and my kiss from the other night, in my bed.

So, as I had pretty much intended... I did sleep with him. And I truly feel it was the right decision. It was a really positive experience. We have a connection, which is very much friendly- but this was actually a good thing. Most of our foreplay was actually just conversation, which was lovely. He was very nervous, and he was very open about that, which I found lovely. I told him quite a few times during to relax, and I could tell he was concentrating pretty hard a lot of the time. But he was actually really good. We have different styles, in the sense that he seems to prefer to take it slow and sensual- to be gentle. Whereas I like to be fucked until it hurts.
He didn't cum, simply because he wasn't relaxed enough and was focusing on too many things. But I'm pretty sure we both had a really good time. And in the morning, we gave each other hand jobs and I did actually make him cum. That was great, because it showed he felt a lot more relaxed. I think it made us both feel good.

We also had some really great conversations. I am particularly good at reading people, and as a result people tend to open up to me, so it was lovely to talk to him about some things that I don't think he would bring up with many other people. He also told me that I made him enjoy sex, whereas the last girl he slept with, he didn't have much fun with, apparently.

And I should probably note that he gives very good head- even in a 69 position, it was still really fucking great!

I thought it was lovely that afterwards he asked if we'd be OK the next day. And we were, we were absolutely fine today. We hung out with my other friend who stayed over and went and got lunch with another friend, and it was relaxed and fun. I think with both did it just for fun, and made a great connection, but not to the point where we expect anything to come of it. And that's good. I would definitely sleep with him again, but I don't think we should start doing it too often, because then emotions will most likely start to become involved. And there is no way I am getting myself into a relationship right now, while I am still very much in love with my ex- that would not be fair to anyone, let alone such a lovely friend.

OK, well, that's enough about that. I should go to sleep, we actually talked until sunrise and then woke up around 10, so we only got 3 hours or so of sleep!

I'm seeing him again next Sunday, we're all planning to have some has brownies. I really hope I don't have to work next Monday!!!

Next Saturday I am meeting the interstate couple. I hope we make a connection, I do want to be able to cross off FMF from my life list. =]

Gaining a new perspective.

I've been so busy! Working and going out and organising things for uni. It's been good, though. I'm going out tonight with a friend to watch her ex-girlfriend play in what she describes as "an angry lesbian rock band". I'm not quite sure whether it's a rock band of angry lesbians, or a band of angry "lesbian rock". Either way, I'm getting out of the house again and I don't have to work this weekend!!! =D It's my first weekend off in so long I don't even know when my last one was!!! I think at least six months!!

I'm really happy about the fact that I've been hanging out with my old high school group again. They make me laugh and I'm relaxed around them, it's great. I haven't had a big group of friends in a while. I'm going to continue to make a concerted effort to see them all regularly.

I find I'm a much more relaxed and open person than I used to be, in a lot of ways. I'm very open about sex and sexuality with my friends, and I find it refreshing to be able to speak about anything and everything with such an accepting group of people. I got a text last night from a good friend saying that he really loves my "new lease on life", which was lovely. I feel a lot more liberated than I used to.

And I'm starting to see that maybe this whole break-up thing will turn out all right for me. I feel that I'm growing as a person, and I'm going to continue to work to fullfil my fantasies and get to know new people. I'm learning. And I'm liking myself more and more. I have a great group of friends to thank for that.

So this Saturday is my friend's party, and I see my kiss from the other night. Part of me just wants to go for it and see what happens. The other part of me is a little shy and scared, because I've known him so long and he's in the group. I'm going to try not to overthink it though, and just play it by ear.

Like I said last time though, I am pretty turned on by the idea of being the "experienced" one in this situation.. Hmmm....

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend.

And I'm kind of hoping that I'll have next weekend off as well, because that's threesome weekend! I'm actually getting pretty excited about that... The girl has been keeping in regular contact with me. I hope that the three of us connect. We'll see, again I think I should go in with little expectations, and hope for the best. I feel the timing is pretty good. Making out with my friend the other night made me feel good, and I'm feeling emotionally stable enough to actually start acting out a lot of the things on my single list. =]

I guess that's about it for now... Just thinking about all that got me pretty excited about things, and oh so slightly horny.....

Ready for bed.

Last night I had the most incredible cyber-sex session. I came really hard and I felt great.

Last night I was thinking I'm definitely going to aim to fuck this high school friend on Saturday night. I've chickened out a little today though, maybe I'm over-thinking it. I'm pretty sure I'll at the very least try and hook up with him again, though.

I'm not sure I really have that much else to say, tonight... I thought I had heaps to say but I can't really think of anything right now...

I think rather than force out a draining blog entry I might just call it a night. I'll be a bit more exciting when I've got more to say.

Here's another picture instead.

Sex is great.

Haven't posted in a while. I've been busy with work and study and general life stuff. Feel bad because I've neglected the 'needs' of a few of my online buddies. But life gets in the way.

I went out last night. It was great. Such an amazing time, with a group of old high school friends, all of them guys. I don't have many female friends.

We talked a lot about sex, which was interesting just to hear different perspectives and experiences. I told them I'm horny as fuck, and even though I'd been drinking it was good to have a group of males with whom I can discuss that with no prejudices or ulterior motives.

And I got my first post-break-up kiss.

A guy I've known since the start of high school. We've been friends a long time, he's a great guy, and I've always had a bit of a crush on him, but never anything serious that I thought I'd actually act on. We made out in our friend's car- with three other people in there. I felt badly about that so I made him stop. So clearly it was just a kiss. But it was good. I felt good about myself afterwards. He wanted to come back to my place, but I said it was better not to. We were drunk and it was sudden and we're friends, and I didn't want to have to experience an awkward morning with him.

However I do fully intend on sleeping with him if the opportunity presents itself in the future. We have a high school friend's party on Saturday night, so I'll keep you posted!

I wonder what he's like in bed. I love to be dominated, but I kind of get the feeling I'd be taking charge with this one. I don't care, as long as I'm torn apart and eaten out and brought as close to cumming as is humanly possible with me.

I miss sex.

I also will most likely be having a threesome in two weeks. There are two couples coming down the same weekend, both wanting to "catch up". My friends told me to make it a "fivesome", but that won't work- that'll just end up as being two couples, and then me just hanging around. Fifth-wheeling with my pants off.

I reckon I can handle them both over a couple of days.

I need a release.

It has been a while since I posted. Have been really busy. And really horny.

An ex called me today. Was good to hear from him. He says he's happy in his current relationship because I helped shape him, which was a nice thing to hear.

I've had quite a few offers for threesomes through the dating websites I've joined. Two of them I'm thinking of pursuing. Both couples are from Sydney. I prefer one couple to the other, they're both really sexy and we tend to click a bit more, but I might as well meet the others too, they seem nice enough and are new to this kind of thing as well. They come down at the start of August.

I am thinking of going to a swinger's party this Saturday though. I'm not quite sure if I'm brave enough, but I'm just so insanely horny, and have to tend to this bucket list of mine! I think the order of everything is a bit reversed- it would be nice if the hot couple came to Melbourne, followed by the other couple, and then the party. But it's the party first, and the couple I'm keener on last! Oh well, we'll see how I'm feeling on Saturday before I decide whether or not to go, I suppose.

I would probably feel more comfortable going with someone, but I don't have anyone with whom I could go. The organisers of the party have offered to tee me up with a lift... We'll see, I actually do have work of this Sunday so I think it's kind of a sign... Haha...

What else? I feel I should have more to say seeing as it's been so long...

Oh, I know! Someone contacted me on one of the dating sites and actually offered me $150 per "meeting"! I was amazed! There are so many things wrong with that proposition! I mean, firstly there are people who actually do offer their bodies as a service, so if you're willing to pay, get the job done properly!! Secondly, it's a dating website full of exceedingly horny people- does he really have to pay to get laid? I was going to reply, but I figured what could I really say? The logic is so fucked anyway, I'm not going to save the world by politely letting him know he's an idiot. Besides, I don't want to deprive anyone of a job opportunity! Hahaha!

If I go to this swinger's party, I hope there are people close to my age, and obviously I hope there are good looking people and people I connect with. I particularly hope there are some girls there for me, I have enough experience with guys. Although it would be nice to find a pair of guys that I connect with enough to have an MFM threesome... But again, I think it's best to go with no expectations. Even if I stay a while and check it out, and not actually play, they seem to be pretty ok with that. The house seems amazing. Ok you know what, I'm going to contact them and tell them I'll most likely go.

How's that for single bucket-list initiative!

I'm home, unraped and unharmed!

Well, my absolute very first impression upon meeting this guy tonight was "oh, he's gay!". That was also my second and third thought. After that I had that small moment of panic of why the fuck am I meeting a guy from a dating website, followed by the "I just want my boyfriend back" moment. But after that I relaxed and thought, why the fuck not. And if he's gay, so the fuck what! I went with no great expectations, and came back with a new friend. Could have been far worse.

I got a definite 'friend vibe' throughout the evening, and I'm really hoping he didn't feel anything more either. He wants us to meet again to play some music, which I would like, but I think maybe I should make it clear that I'm not up for anything more than music?

I have made some pretty sweet internet friends. Most of them are in Canada, which makes it kind of more appealing in a way, because they're so unreachable. One of them wrote me a song, which is amazing.

Another one I've developed a pretty awesome connection with. I always looked down on the whole making "friends" over the internet thing. And to an extent, I still think that it's not the same- you can get to know lots about someone over the net, but chatting through text (or even Skype) and looking at photos doesn't really help you to know someone as you would face to face. Still, this one guy in particular is changing my opinion on interactions over the web. I guess sometimes if a connection is strong it will just happen regardless. However it would be interesting to see if we would even get along at all in real life. Maybe we have these ideas of each other that we can't actually fullfil. I heard once that we draw meaning from the words we hear and read according to past experiences in our lives. So the way that one person interprets a sentence is never exactly the same as another person exposed to the same sentence. So who knows, we might think we're on the same page, but really we might be so far off.

But I don't think so.

I still don't believe in starting a relationship over the internet, or even that it's possible to fall in love without meeting someone in person. Love is very chemical, and very physical. The ex once said to me that if we hadn't had sex, he couldn't have fallen in love with me. At first I took offence, but then I realised what he was saying- not that he loved me because I slept with him, but that sex is such a huge part of connecting with another person. That the way we connected before, during and after sex, really cemented our feelings for each other.

That's about all I'm going to write for tonight, I have to be up for work in around 6 or so hours. Tomorrow I might write some more about some of the types of people who have been contacting me through these online dating sites! It gets pretty absurd!!!

Tonight.

I'm going out soon. But in all honesty I'd much rather stay in bed. I'm meeting someone from a dating site. Half my brain is telling me I've completely lost it, and the other side is telling me I'm doing a good thing taking a plunge.

It's not going to be a formal date or anything, just watching his friend band play in the city. But still, all day I've had time to think of a million reasons why I should not go. But I will. I'm prepared for total awkwardness and destruction, but not particularly anticipating it.

I should go now, I'm still lying naked on my bed, I'd better get ready.

But I'm sure I'll post tonight.

Hmmmmm stay tuned!!

So I have this fantasy...

You knowingly leave your door unlocked while you slip out for a while. I sneak in and lay on your bed, pretending I'm asleep. When you return, you open the door slowly. I can hear it creak. You know I'm not sleeping, you can tell by my short, fast breaths. But you play along.

You walk over to me, place your hand gently but firmly between my shoulder blades and lean in. Don't move, bitch. Do exactly as I say. You whisper in my ear. Then you bite my earlobe and the sharp sensation jolts me into definite alertness.

I am still lying face down. You spread my arms and legs across the bed, and pin me down by straddling me and holding down my arms. Good girl. You whisper, then you grab my hips and spank my ass. I cry out. You just spank me harder and tell me to shut up. You flip me over and unzip your pants, then rip off my clothes so I am lying there naked before you. You lift my chin till my eyes meet yours. Look me in the eyes while I fuck you. You say, then before I know what's happening you are already inside me, your thick cock pounding my tight, wet pussy. I scream out and you cover my mouth with your hand, reminding me to watch you while you fuck me. Then, suddenly, you pull out and pull me up onto my ass, pushing my head down onto your cock so I'm almost gagging. I moan, and you grab me from my hair and won't let me pull back. I try to play with myself, but you grab my hand and place it on your cock instead, down low so your balls are lightly brushed by my palm while I stroke the bottom of your shaft. I am still gagging on the length of your dick, when you flip me over again and start to fuck me from behind.

For a small moment, I turn back and catch you smiling at me. But you notice me staring, and starting pounding my ass harder than ever. I know you're about to cum, and you finally reach around and start playing with my clit while you fuck me. I'm so turned on I can't contain myself, and my body convulses violently with orgasm. The feeling of my pussy contracting on your cock is too much, and you explode inside of me, pulling my head back by the hair, your other hand firmly around my neck, as you cum.

At the end, I look at you, not quite knowing how to end this almost brutal encounter.

You softly touch my cheek, and kiss me sweetly on the lips. I hope you learned your lesson.

Tonight, intertwined, we sleep more deeply than we ever have.

Rising from the ashes.

I haven't posted the last couple of nights because I've been sick with the flu. Definitely a libido killer.

So anyway, I'm back, and I'm feeling pretty good!

I've been having some great conversations with my new online buddies, and one particular person sent me a list of questions about myself, and I thought that for this blog I would recap my answers to these questions, as they really got me thinking about a few things. So thanks to my internet pen-pal for the inspiration, here they are! I'll just list them in "random fact" form, to make it easier.

*Foreskins- I don't think there's a huge difference between circumcised and uncircumcised cocks- but I do much prefer them uncircumcised. I don't know why, I just do.

*Pubic hair- I like girls bald, or with a "landing strip". I think that guys should be neatly trimmed, but not completely shaved. I like to include the balls when giving head, so I like them to be bald, though.

* I love a bit of anal play, but I'm unconvinced on licking, and don't think I could actually finger anyone's ass... And now that I think of it, I only really enjoyed my ex doing it while we fucked, I don't think I'd like it just on its own... I've had anal sex in the past, it was ok- I mainly like it because of the taboo, that part turns me on. But I prefer being fucked in the pussy...

*Masturbation frequency varies greatly, as I go through stages. Quite recently I hadn't touched myself in around 6 months, but lately I've been doing it a few times a day (or night, rather).

*Swallowing- I wish I could do it, but I just can't! In terms of "girl juice", I think it's inevitable to swallow when going down on a girl- but if a girl were a squirter, it would be the same deal as with guys- I wouldn't be able to swallow.

*BDSM- I like a bit of light bondage. I have my dominant moments, but I am generally I am definitely a submissive. I like to be spanked, scratched, bitten and hair pulled....but I don't really like pain itself, it's more the power play behind it that I find to be such a turn on.

*Facial hair- I like a bit of stubble, but I'm not big on beards. I like the way that stubble feels when I kiss a guy, and when they go down on me...

*Height- I like my men taller than me, and my women equal height, or a little shorter.

*Turn ons- Girls with short hair, girls with black hair and blue eyes, girls with bleached blonde hair, girls with tattoos and piercings. Guys who aren't cocky, guys who enjoy focusing on the girl during sex. Spontaneous sex when it's least expected, and watching a person get off. Also being watched.

*Lingerie- I like it, but I'm not that huge on it, I'd rather see someone naked. But if it turns the person I'm with on, then I'm more than happy to wear anything for them!

*Dick size- Whilst I think that girth is a little more important than length, I do love big cocks- they just turn me on that little bit more.

*Breast size- Around a handful is good, maybe a little more. Nice and round and not saggy, with nipples that are not too tiny, and not too big.

*Clitoral stimulation should be started very lightly, teasing so that I can barely feel it. But at the end I want a nice, firm flick upwards- guys tend to underestimate the value of repetition when giving head!

*Female squirting- I have never had the urge to squirt, and would rather that the girls I am with don't do it. One of the good things about being a girl is not having to clean anything up....

*I have never been in an orgy, but I would definitely try it. In terms of swinging- I'm considering trying it, and have always been turned on by the idea.

*Deepthroating- I can do it, up to around 8inches, I'd say. But I prefer to give head by working the whole cock with my tongue and hands, instead. However, every now and then it's nice to take an entire cock into my mouth and look up at my man while he watches.

*Facesitting- Hot, but oral feels better when I'm on my back. I also prefer the idea of going down on a girl while she lies down.

*And a bit more on masturbation- I use my dominant hand, rubbing my clit, and my other hand sits just above.

*Threesomes- I prefer the idea of FMF to MFM. The idea of a foursome also appeals, but I think I'd prefer the threesome simply because I imagine that a foursome would just end up just being two pairs of people fucking in the same room...

Well, that's about it for now, I hope that entertained and educated and whatever else....

I'm going to go to sleep... Quite possibly after I take provocative photos of myself and send them to people...

Reminiscing a little bit.

It's funny talking to people on the internet.
Most manage to boost my mood and get my juices flowing. Some manage to make me feel a little crappy about myself... But on the whole, it's an awesome experience. It's nice being behind a veil of anonymity, talking about anything at all and exploring sexualities.
I like the fact that the internet doesn't discriminate. You could be old, young, big, little- but it doesn't matter. I don't post pictures of myself to judge the people who look at them. And I find people's sexuality a very interesting topic.

I'm going to be telling a story today. About something I did once. At work. With my ex, so I might not actually go into too much detail- it still hurts a little to think about us too much.
But in short, he came to help me pass the time at work one day. Closing time came, and we were going to go see a movie, so I went out back to get changed. The next thing I know, he's right there- watching me. He says "don't put your top back on" and walks over to me. He starts furiously kissing me, and forces my hand down his pants. I say "we can't fuck here", but he just tells me to take off my pants. He bent me over the toilet in the back room at work and fucked me right there.
It was spontaneous, exciting, and passionate.

I miss that.

New opportunities present themselves.

The internet is being a dark temptress, and I have to pull myself away soon, but I felt that it would not be fair to go to bed without posting tonight.

I stayed up until 2:30am yesterday on the internet... Posted some more photos of myself and spoke to a few guys for way too long... But totally worth it. It's great to find some people out there who know how to talk dirty and make me wet. I've been chatting some more today, the past two days I've been more turned on than I have been in a long while. I found my old Butterfly vibrator yesterday and wowee it is good. So I can now sit there talking dirty with the Butterfly sitting nicely on my clit doing its work. In fact I'm going to put it on right now.

Mmmmm yes that's much better... Please excuse any typos from this point on....

So someone online suggested that I try swinging. I had actually considered this a couple of years ago, but then just forgot about it. I think it's actually a pretty good idea, sticking with this whole 'being single and trying new things' project...
Oh God the Butterfly is pulsing.... Mmmm...

I will keep you guys posted, but in the meanwhile I'm going to go cum now.
Goodnight.