I got laid.

This weekend has been great.

Friday night was pretty hilarious. Turns out the music was angry, and so were the lesbians, so that answered my question for the night. Haha. I'm definitely not into "angry rock", lesbian or not, but it was good to see the friend I went with and we had a good laugh about the whole situation and atmosphere.

Then last night was the 21st- the last one out of my friendship group, so we all got pretty drunk and stayed out really late. I had an email from the ex earlier in the day which made me extremely emotional, but I was happy to hear from him and happy with my response, too- basically that if he thinks we have a chance then I'm happy to see where it goes, but if he's not in love with me anymore then I can't be in touch right now. I do most definitely want him in my life, but if it's going to be a "just friends" arrangement, I am absolutely not ready for that yet. I am yet to receive a reply.

Anyway, back to the party- it was so great to hang around all my high school friends in one place. At around 4:00am a few of us realised we were the last people there, so I came home with three friends and we kept having a few drinks in my lounge. Then one of them went home, and two stayed over- one in the spare room, and my kiss from the other night, in my bed.

So, as I had pretty much intended... I did sleep with him. And I truly feel it was the right decision. It was a really positive experience. We have a connection, which is very much friendly- but this was actually a good thing. Most of our foreplay was actually just conversation, which was lovely. He was very nervous, and he was very open about that, which I found lovely. I told him quite a few times during to relax, and I could tell he was concentrating pretty hard a lot of the time. But he was actually really good. We have different styles, in the sense that he seems to prefer to take it slow and sensual- to be gentle. Whereas I like to be fucked until it hurts.
He didn't cum, simply because he wasn't relaxed enough and was focusing on too many things. But I'm pretty sure we both had a really good time. And in the morning, we gave each other hand jobs and I did actually make him cum. That was great, because it showed he felt a lot more relaxed. I think it made us both feel good.

We also had some really great conversations. I am particularly good at reading people, and as a result people tend to open up to me, so it was lovely to talk to him about some things that I don't think he would bring up with many other people. He also told me that I made him enjoy sex, whereas the last girl he slept with, he didn't have much fun with, apparently.

And I should probably note that he gives very good head- even in a 69 position, it was still really fucking great!

I thought it was lovely that afterwards he asked if we'd be OK the next day. And we were, we were absolutely fine today. We hung out with my other friend who stayed over and went and got lunch with another friend, and it was relaxed and fun. I think with both did it just for fun, and made a great connection, but not to the point where we expect anything to come of it. And that's good. I would definitely sleep with him again, but I don't think we should start doing it too often, because then emotions will most likely start to become involved. And there is no way I am getting myself into a relationship right now, while I am still very much in love with my ex- that would not be fair to anyone, let alone such a lovely friend.

OK, well, that's enough about that. I should go to sleep, we actually talked until sunrise and then woke up around 10, so we only got 3 hours or so of sleep!

I'm seeing him again next Sunday, we're all planning to have some has brownies. I really hope I don't have to work next Monday!!!

Next Saturday I am meeting the interstate couple. I hope we make a connection, I do want to be able to cross off FMF from my life list. =]

Gaining a new perspective.

I've been so busy! Working and going out and organising things for uni. It's been good, though. I'm going out tonight with a friend to watch her ex-girlfriend play in what she describes as "an angry lesbian rock band". I'm not quite sure whether it's a rock band of angry lesbians, or a band of angry "lesbian rock". Either way, I'm getting out of the house again and I don't have to work this weekend!!! =D It's my first weekend off in so long I don't even know when my last one was!!! I think at least six months!!

I'm really happy about the fact that I've been hanging out with my old high school group again. They make me laugh and I'm relaxed around them, it's great. I haven't had a big group of friends in a while. I'm going to continue to make a concerted effort to see them all regularly.

I find I'm a much more relaxed and open person than I used to be, in a lot of ways. I'm very open about sex and sexuality with my friends, and I find it refreshing to be able to speak about anything and everything with such an accepting group of people. I got a text last night from a good friend saying that he really loves my "new lease on life", which was lovely. I feel a lot more liberated than I used to.

And I'm starting to see that maybe this whole break-up thing will turn out all right for me. I feel that I'm growing as a person, and I'm going to continue to work to fullfil my fantasies and get to know new people. I'm learning. And I'm liking myself more and more. I have a great group of friends to thank for that.

So this Saturday is my friend's party, and I see my kiss from the other night. Part of me just wants to go for it and see what happens. The other part of me is a little shy and scared, because I've known him so long and he's in the group. I'm going to try not to overthink it though, and just play it by ear.

Like I said last time though, I am pretty turned on by the idea of being the "experienced" one in this situation.. Hmmm....

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend.

And I'm kind of hoping that I'll have next weekend off as well, because that's threesome weekend! I'm actually getting pretty excited about that... The girl has been keeping in regular contact with me. I hope that the three of us connect. We'll see, again I think I should go in with little expectations, and hope for the best. I feel the timing is pretty good. Making out with my friend the other night made me feel good, and I'm feeling emotionally stable enough to actually start acting out a lot of the things on my single list. =]

I guess that's about it for now... Just thinking about all that got me pretty excited about things, and oh so slightly horny.....

Ready for bed.

Last night I had the most incredible cyber-sex session. I came really hard and I felt great.

Last night I was thinking I'm definitely going to aim to fuck this high school friend on Saturday night. I've chickened out a little today though, maybe I'm over-thinking it. I'm pretty sure I'll at the very least try and hook up with him again, though.

I'm not sure I really have that much else to say, tonight... I thought I had heaps to say but I can't really think of anything right now...

I think rather than force out a draining blog entry I might just call it a night. I'll be a bit more exciting when I've got more to say.

Here's another picture instead.

Sex is great.

Haven't posted in a while. I've been busy with work and study and general life stuff. Feel bad because I've neglected the 'needs' of a few of my online buddies. But life gets in the way.

I went out last night. It was great. Such an amazing time, with a group of old high school friends, all of them guys. I don't have many female friends.

We talked a lot about sex, which was interesting just to hear different perspectives and experiences. I told them I'm horny as fuck, and even though I'd been drinking it was good to have a group of males with whom I can discuss that with no prejudices or ulterior motives.

And I got my first post-break-up kiss.

A guy I've known since the start of high school. We've been friends a long time, he's a great guy, and I've always had a bit of a crush on him, but never anything serious that I thought I'd actually act on. We made out in our friend's car- with three other people in there. I felt badly about that so I made him stop. So clearly it was just a kiss. But it was good. I felt good about myself afterwards. He wanted to come back to my place, but I said it was better not to. We were drunk and it was sudden and we're friends, and I didn't want to have to experience an awkward morning with him.

However I do fully intend on sleeping with him if the opportunity presents itself in the future. We have a high school friend's party on Saturday night, so I'll keep you posted!

I wonder what he's like in bed. I love to be dominated, but I kind of get the feeling I'd be taking charge with this one. I don't care, as long as I'm torn apart and eaten out and brought as close to cumming as is humanly possible with me.

I miss sex.

I also will most likely be having a threesome in two weeks. There are two couples coming down the same weekend, both wanting to "catch up". My friends told me to make it a "fivesome", but that won't work- that'll just end up as being two couples, and then me just hanging around. Fifth-wheeling with my pants off.

I reckon I can handle them both over a couple of days.

I need a release.

It has been a while since I posted. Have been really busy. And really horny.

An ex called me today. Was good to hear from him. He says he's happy in his current relationship because I helped shape him, which was a nice thing to hear.

I've had quite a few offers for threesomes through the dating websites I've joined. Two of them I'm thinking of pursuing. Both couples are from Sydney. I prefer one couple to the other, they're both really sexy and we tend to click a bit more, but I might as well meet the others too, they seem nice enough and are new to this kind of thing as well. They come down at the start of August.

I am thinking of going to a swinger's party this Saturday though. I'm not quite sure if I'm brave enough, but I'm just so insanely horny, and have to tend to this bucket list of mine! I think the order of everything is a bit reversed- it would be nice if the hot couple came to Melbourne, followed by the other couple, and then the party. But it's the party first, and the couple I'm keener on last! Oh well, we'll see how I'm feeling on Saturday before I decide whether or not to go, I suppose.

I would probably feel more comfortable going with someone, but I don't have anyone with whom I could go. The organisers of the party have offered to tee me up with a lift... We'll see, I actually do have work of this Sunday so I think it's kind of a sign... Haha...

What else? I feel I should have more to say seeing as it's been so long...

Oh, I know! Someone contacted me on one of the dating sites and actually offered me $150 per "meeting"! I was amazed! There are so many things wrong with that proposition! I mean, firstly there are people who actually do offer their bodies as a service, so if you're willing to pay, get the job done properly!! Secondly, it's a dating website full of exceedingly horny people- does he really have to pay to get laid? I was going to reply, but I figured what could I really say? The logic is so fucked anyway, I'm not going to save the world by politely letting him know he's an idiot. Besides, I don't want to deprive anyone of a job opportunity! Hahaha!

If I go to this swinger's party, I hope there are people close to my age, and obviously I hope there are good looking people and people I connect with. I particularly hope there are some girls there for me, I have enough experience with guys. Although it would be nice to find a pair of guys that I connect with enough to have an MFM threesome... But again, I think it's best to go with no expectations. Even if I stay a while and check it out, and not actually play, they seem to be pretty ok with that. The house seems amazing. Ok you know what, I'm going to contact them and tell them I'll most likely go.

How's that for single bucket-list initiative!

I'm home, unraped and unharmed!

Well, my absolute very first impression upon meeting this guy tonight was "oh, he's gay!". That was also my second and third thought. After that I had that small moment of panic of why the fuck am I meeting a guy from a dating website, followed by the "I just want my boyfriend back" moment. But after that I relaxed and thought, why the fuck not. And if he's gay, so the fuck what! I went with no great expectations, and came back with a new friend. Could have been far worse.

I got a definite 'friend vibe' throughout the evening, and I'm really hoping he didn't feel anything more either. He wants us to meet again to play some music, which I would like, but I think maybe I should make it clear that I'm not up for anything more than music?

I have made some pretty sweet internet friends. Most of them are in Canada, which makes it kind of more appealing in a way, because they're so unreachable. One of them wrote me a song, which is amazing.

Another one I've developed a pretty awesome connection with. I always looked down on the whole making "friends" over the internet thing. And to an extent, I still think that it's not the same- you can get to know lots about someone over the net, but chatting through text (or even Skype) and looking at photos doesn't really help you to know someone as you would face to face. Still, this one guy in particular is changing my opinion on interactions over the web. I guess sometimes if a connection is strong it will just happen regardless. However it would be interesting to see if we would even get along at all in real life. Maybe we have these ideas of each other that we can't actually fullfil. I heard once that we draw meaning from the words we hear and read according to past experiences in our lives. So the way that one person interprets a sentence is never exactly the same as another person exposed to the same sentence. So who knows, we might think we're on the same page, but really we might be so far off.

But I don't think so.

I still don't believe in starting a relationship over the internet, or even that it's possible to fall in love without meeting someone in person. Love is very chemical, and very physical. The ex once said to me that if we hadn't had sex, he couldn't have fallen in love with me. At first I took offence, but then I realised what he was saying- not that he loved me because I slept with him, but that sex is such a huge part of connecting with another person. That the way we connected before, during and after sex, really cemented our feelings for each other.

That's about all I'm going to write for tonight, I have to be up for work in around 6 or so hours. Tomorrow I might write some more about some of the types of people who have been contacting me through these online dating sites! It gets pretty absurd!!!

Tonight.

I'm going out soon. But in all honesty I'd much rather stay in bed. I'm meeting someone from a dating site. Half my brain is telling me I've completely lost it, and the other side is telling me I'm doing a good thing taking a plunge.

It's not going to be a formal date or anything, just watching his friend band play in the city. But still, all day I've had time to think of a million reasons why I should not go. But I will. I'm prepared for total awkwardness and destruction, but not particularly anticipating it.

I should go now, I'm still lying naked on my bed, I'd better get ready.

But I'm sure I'll post tonight.

Hmmmmm stay tuned!!

So I have this fantasy...

You knowingly leave your door unlocked while you slip out for a while. I sneak in and lay on your bed, pretending I'm asleep. When you return, you open the door slowly. I can hear it creak. You know I'm not sleeping, you can tell by my short, fast breaths. But you play along.

You walk over to me, place your hand gently but firmly between my shoulder blades and lean in. Don't move, bitch. Do exactly as I say. You whisper in my ear. Then you bite my earlobe and the sharp sensation jolts me into definite alertness.

I am still lying face down. You spread my arms and legs across the bed, and pin me down by straddling me and holding down my arms. Good girl. You whisper, then you grab my hips and spank my ass. I cry out. You just spank me harder and tell me to shut up. You flip me over and unzip your pants, then rip off my clothes so I am lying there naked before you. You lift my chin till my eyes meet yours. Look me in the eyes while I fuck you. You say, then before I know what's happening you are already inside me, your thick cock pounding my tight, wet pussy. I scream out and you cover my mouth with your hand, reminding me to watch you while you fuck me. Then, suddenly, you pull out and pull me up onto my ass, pushing my head down onto your cock so I'm almost gagging. I moan, and you grab me from my hair and won't let me pull back. I try to play with myself, but you grab my hand and place it on your cock instead, down low so your balls are lightly brushed by my palm while I stroke the bottom of your shaft. I am still gagging on the length of your dick, when you flip me over again and start to fuck me from behind.

For a small moment, I turn back and catch you smiling at me. But you notice me staring, and starting pounding my ass harder than ever. I know you're about to cum, and you finally reach around and start playing with my clit while you fuck me. I'm so turned on I can't contain myself, and my body convulses violently with orgasm. The feeling of my pussy contracting on your cock is too much, and you explode inside of me, pulling my head back by the hair, your other hand firmly around my neck, as you cum.

At the end, I look at you, not quite knowing how to end this almost brutal encounter.

You softly touch my cheek, and kiss me sweetly on the lips. I hope you learned your lesson.

Tonight, intertwined, we sleep more deeply than we ever have.

Rising from the ashes.

I haven't posted the last couple of nights because I've been sick with the flu. Definitely a libido killer.

So anyway, I'm back, and I'm feeling pretty good!

I've been having some great conversations with my new online buddies, and one particular person sent me a list of questions about myself, and I thought that for this blog I would recap my answers to these questions, as they really got me thinking about a few things. So thanks to my internet pen-pal for the inspiration, here they are! I'll just list them in "random fact" form, to make it easier.

*Foreskins- I don't think there's a huge difference between circumcised and uncircumcised cocks- but I do much prefer them uncircumcised. I don't know why, I just do.

*Pubic hair- I like girls bald, or with a "landing strip". I think that guys should be neatly trimmed, but not completely shaved. I like to include the balls when giving head, so I like them to be bald, though.

* I love a bit of anal play, but I'm unconvinced on licking, and don't think I could actually finger anyone's ass... And now that I think of it, I only really enjoyed my ex doing it while we fucked, I don't think I'd like it just on its own... I've had anal sex in the past, it was ok- I mainly like it because of the taboo, that part turns me on. But I prefer being fucked in the pussy...

*Masturbation frequency varies greatly, as I go through stages. Quite recently I hadn't touched myself in around 6 months, but lately I've been doing it a few times a day (or night, rather).

*Swallowing- I wish I could do it, but I just can't! In terms of "girl juice", I think it's inevitable to swallow when going down on a girl- but if a girl were a squirter, it would be the same deal as with guys- I wouldn't be able to swallow.

*BDSM- I like a bit of light bondage. I have my dominant moments, but I am generally I am definitely a submissive. I like to be spanked, scratched, bitten and hair pulled....but I don't really like pain itself, it's more the power play behind it that I find to be such a turn on.

*Facial hair- I like a bit of stubble, but I'm not big on beards. I like the way that stubble feels when I kiss a guy, and when they go down on me...

*Height- I like my men taller than me, and my women equal height, or a little shorter.

*Turn ons- Girls with short hair, girls with black hair and blue eyes, girls with bleached blonde hair, girls with tattoos and piercings. Guys who aren't cocky, guys who enjoy focusing on the girl during sex. Spontaneous sex when it's least expected, and watching a person get off. Also being watched.

*Lingerie- I like it, but I'm not that huge on it, I'd rather see someone naked. But if it turns the person I'm with on, then I'm more than happy to wear anything for them!

*Dick size- Whilst I think that girth is a little more important than length, I do love big cocks- they just turn me on that little bit more.

*Breast size- Around a handful is good, maybe a little more. Nice and round and not saggy, with nipples that are not too tiny, and not too big.

*Clitoral stimulation should be started very lightly, teasing so that I can barely feel it. But at the end I want a nice, firm flick upwards- guys tend to underestimate the value of repetition when giving head!

*Female squirting- I have never had the urge to squirt, and would rather that the girls I am with don't do it. One of the good things about being a girl is not having to clean anything up....

*I have never been in an orgy, but I would definitely try it. In terms of swinging- I'm considering trying it, and have always been turned on by the idea.

*Deepthroating- I can do it, up to around 8inches, I'd say. But I prefer to give head by working the whole cock with my tongue and hands, instead. However, every now and then it's nice to take an entire cock into my mouth and look up at my man while he watches.

*Facesitting- Hot, but oral feels better when I'm on my back. I also prefer the idea of going down on a girl while she lies down.

*And a bit more on masturbation- I use my dominant hand, rubbing my clit, and my other hand sits just above.

*Threesomes- I prefer the idea of FMF to MFM. The idea of a foursome also appeals, but I think I'd prefer the threesome simply because I imagine that a foursome would just end up just being two pairs of people fucking in the same room...

Well, that's about it for now, I hope that entertained and educated and whatever else....

I'm going to go to sleep... Quite possibly after I take provocative photos of myself and send them to people...

Reminiscing a little bit.

It's funny talking to people on the internet.
Most manage to boost my mood and get my juices flowing. Some manage to make me feel a little crappy about myself... But on the whole, it's an awesome experience. It's nice being behind a veil of anonymity, talking about anything at all and exploring sexualities.
I like the fact that the internet doesn't discriminate. You could be old, young, big, little- but it doesn't matter. I don't post pictures of myself to judge the people who look at them. And I find people's sexuality a very interesting topic.

I'm going to be telling a story today. About something I did once. At work. With my ex, so I might not actually go into too much detail- it still hurts a little to think about us too much.
But in short, he came to help me pass the time at work one day. Closing time came, and we were going to go see a movie, so I went out back to get changed. The next thing I know, he's right there- watching me. He says "don't put your top back on" and walks over to me. He starts furiously kissing me, and forces my hand down his pants. I say "we can't fuck here", but he just tells me to take off my pants. He bent me over the toilet in the back room at work and fucked me right there.
It was spontaneous, exciting, and passionate.

I miss that.

New opportunities present themselves.

The internet is being a dark temptress, and I have to pull myself away soon, but I felt that it would not be fair to go to bed without posting tonight.

I stayed up until 2:30am yesterday on the internet... Posted some more photos of myself and spoke to a few guys for way too long... But totally worth it. It's great to find some people out there who know how to talk dirty and make me wet. I've been chatting some more today, the past two days I've been more turned on than I have been in a long while. I found my old Butterfly vibrator yesterday and wowee it is good. So I can now sit there talking dirty with the Butterfly sitting nicely on my clit doing its work. In fact I'm going to put it on right now.

Mmmmm yes that's much better... Please excuse any typos from this point on....

So someone online suggested that I try swinging. I had actually considered this a couple of years ago, but then just forgot about it. I think it's actually a pretty good idea, sticking with this whole 'being single and trying new things' project...
Oh God the Butterfly is pulsing.... Mmmm...

I will keep you guys posted, but in the meanwhile I'm going to go cum now.
Goodnight.

Sex dreams affect the rest of my day.

I had another two girly wet dreams last night. So naturally I can't stop thinking about sex for the rest of the day.

I just need to be thrown down and fucked like nothing else matters.

One dream was about the ex I met with last night. The other was about a family friend I used to have a crush on when I was young.

I am feeling pretty lonely tonight. Horny as fuck, still, that didn't subside all day. But also just needing some companionship. I have been couped up at home the past couple of days, so that isn't helping.

I also really want to contact the guy I met up with yesterday, but I don't want to come on too strongly- particularly seeing as I got the impression he wants something more serious than I do. Also I'm not really too sure what I want, either- other than to be nailed to my mattress by a good, hard dick.

This frustration is driving me mad. I just need to go out and meet people and let loose. But I have so many other commitments at home and with study and work that I just can't for the next few days.

I just want a booty call. Living at home, that's not so easy.
I really shouldn't contact Person 1 though, should I? Not so soon, anyway... These days everyone's so connected that I'm just waiting for him to appear on Facebook. I guess I should just wait it out, but I don't even know what I'm waiting for.
I hope my other ex does show up on Monday night to hang out, even just to boost my confidence. I did feel a lot better about myself after meeting Person 1 yesterday. It wasn't a very flirtatious encounter, but he did pay for coffee, and slipped in a little comment about how he likes my smile...


When I was younger, I had a fantasy. It involved me being alone at home, and the doorbell ringing. A man would come in to fix my TV, but I'd tell him the TV didn't need fixing. He'd proceed to lightly kiss my neck, and pull me towards me with his hands around my waist. We'd passionately kiss and get naked with an absolute urgency. I'd jump up and wrap my legs around his waist, and he'd carry me to my room and throw me down on my bed with force. We'd then proceed to fuck furiously and loudly. He'd hold me down while he fucked me, and he'd command me to play with my clit while he watches me squirm with his dick inside me. He'd wait for me to cum- a long, hard, deeply intense orgasm- and then he'd flip me over and fuck me from behind, cumming inside me with such force that I can hear him moan and feel his muscles spasm.
Then we'd collapse in a heap on my bed. His boss would call his phone, and he'd have to leave in a hurry, but we'd make an unspoken agreement that my 'TV' would need fixing a few more times in the near future.

Apparently I can watch porn on my phone!

So last night after my post, I shut down my computer and then decided that I did in fact want to get myself off. I didn't want to use my vibrator and needed some stimulation from outside my imagination, so I grabbed my phone and discovered that, yes- it does access porn websites! Albeit it rather delayed and pixelated, but enough for an already very aroused me to manage to give myself a pretty strong orgasm just by playing with my clit for a couple of minutes.

I still had sex dreams though! Three of them- involving three different people:

1). The ex: hot, passionate sex- him on top, my legs around his shoulders. I really miss the way he fucked me.

2). A friend, whom  don't actually see sexually at all, but he's recently started seeing another friend of mine so I think my subconscious is just a little confused by that. Even in my dream I remember thinking "but we're just friends". It was sex in the spooning position, and we joked about it afterwards. Strange.

3). The other ex- Person 1 from Shoot, Fuck, Marry. This was a really strange dream. It was good sex, he fucked me from all different angles. But then it got weird- he wanted commitment and my entire family decided to walk into the room while we were fucking, and there was a vibrator involved somewhere along the line there, too.

Needless to say, woke up pretty confused and also mildly horny.

So I did meet Person 1 today, which was actually surprisingly good! He's a lot more talkative than he used to be, and I actually enjoyed hanging out with him. He's just come out of a serious relationship- which, when I did the maths, actually overlapped with the time when we were seeing each other. I actually just found this hilarious, however, because I was seeing someone else at the time too. And we were never actually committed to each other. However if I had known at the time that he was with someone else, there is no way that I would have been with him.

I remember once we were at the beach, and we swam into this little cave that was half under water. We got very hot and heavy, he was fucking me with his fingers, and then I went down on him until he came. It was a hot day, and the waves were splashing us around, and it was all just really fucking intense. I wouldn't mind fucking him again, just to see what he's like in bed, now that I know what I'm doing. I don't think his ex ever slept with him, because of religious reasons, so I'm pretty sure I'm still the only person he's fucked. However at the moment I just want to keep in touch every now and then, with no ulterior motives or expectations and just take it from there. I don't want to end up in a relationship with him, particularly seeing as he's clearly the kind of guy who cheats, and I have a feeling he might be looking for a relationship. So if things do start to go down the track of 'beyond friendship', I'm going to have to be honest.

Also I broached the subject of bi-sexuality, and he didn't seem overly OK with it. It may have just been the shock factor, and not knowing how to react. But if he's not OK with my sexuality then I don't want him in my life. So I'm going to have to suss that one out.

He was fun to mess around with though, back in the day, and now that we seem to get along better than we used to I couldn't help but let my mind wander on my way home from seeing him... We didn't have all that much sex because we were both virgins when we met... But I have gone down on this guy in so many ridiculous places- by the river in the city, near the docks, at the beach, in a toilet at a bar.... And once we fucked in the car in front of a school! Probably not the wisest idea, but as horny kids we had nowhere to go, really.

God damn it I'm horny as I write this. I just want someone to burst into my room, put their hand across my mouth and tell me not to make a sound, then proceed to fuck me wildly and violently- squeezing my nipples, biting my neck, smacking my ass and pounding me from behind.

I never realised I was into ass-play until my ex fingered my ass while he fucked me. This then became a favourite move of ours. It's just so dirty and taboo that the idea of it alone just turns me the fuck on.

I'd love to have a guy fuck me in the ass while I fuck my pussy with my vibrator. Add another guy gagging me with his cock and I'm pretty satisfied. Maybe a chick touching herself while she watches, waiting for the point where the guys order me to go down on her and fuck her tight little pussy with my tongue, while they continue to grab their rock-hard dicks until they come all over us both.

The horny-ness returns

Today I am much more sexually frustrated than I was yesterday when I posted.

I feel like nothing's going to satisfy me tonight. I'm not in the mood for my vibrator, I'm not going to jump under the bath tap in the middle of the night, and my fingernails are long, so that's out. I just need a man to go down on me until I'm close, then make me cum while he fucks me from behind.

I had a small gathering at my house tonight. The neighbours came- the ones who had the party on Saturday night. I get the vibe that the cute one is into me, but he also seems like the kind of guy who knows he's good-looking and so is flirtatious by nature. Also I really shouldn't sleep with someone who lives right next door, but it's just so tantalising to think about right now...

Anyway, it was a good night tonight, and I told the neighbours I'm wanting to expand my social group because of the break-up, and that we should hang out every now and then. So hopefully at the very least I've made a little group of new friends, which is on the list anyway!

Two customers from my work also came tonight, which was awesome. We have clicked since they started coming in to the store, and they always hang around and we chat, so I invited them round, which was just another step to expand my social group. I'm feeling pretty good about finding new people to hang out with and new things to do.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be catching up with one of my exes (Person 1 in my Shoot, Fuck Marry list). I have no idea where we're going or what time, or if it's even happening. I have quite a few things to do tomorrow, and am going out to dinner at night, so I'm assuming we'll catch up in the late afternoon.

I really hope he's a bit more outgoing and not as uptight as he used to be. My gosh he was a bore. As horny as I am I'm not quite emotionally prepared to get involved with anyone that I have a history with at this point. So I doubt that anything will happen if we do end up meeting tomorrow. Which is all the more reason for me to hope that he can carry a conversation, these days! Ha...

There is a customer who comes into my store every now and then on whom I have a crush. Last time he came in he flirted so hard, and managed to slip into the conversation that he was single. I wasn't, at the time, and haven't seen him since, but if I do I might gather up the courage to make a move.... Or at least let him know that I am now single, too.

I wanted to go to the lesbian bar again this Thursday night but it turns out I have to work on Friday morning. I'm going to try and start getting Fridays off in the future though, I would like to go out more often, even if it's not gay-clubbing, just out. I work weekends so Thursday is the only 'party night' that I can try and make happen.

Alright well that's about it for now, it's late in the Land Down Under and I'm getting very sleepy.

But I will consider fucking myself with my fingers while I work my clit with a vibrator so that I can send myself into an even deeper sleep. If I don't decide to do that, I might just have to give a report tomorrow on the wet dreams that I have tonight....

I love bed.

Vibrators, the internet, and the fourth of July.

It's late once again and I'm sleepy, but I'm squeezing in some time for a post before bedtime.

The past couple of days I haven't been as furiously horny as I had been for the past couple of weeks. That doesn't stop me from thinking about sex, especially seeing as I have managed to gather a small audience for this blog, some of which have contacted me. It's fun talking sex to people across the globe. I think part of what I like about it is the fact that it's faceless and impersonal. It's an ego boost at this time in my life. So to those of you who have been reading, thanks, and spread the word- I think sex is an important topic that people are not open enough about. And I am happy to chat with any of you via email if you like.

I need a new vibrator. The one I have the ex and I bought at "Sexpo" as part of a kit, and it's not all that powerful. Also the little bit that's supposed to work my clit is starting to break off. That's a fatal error. I have been told a hitachi magic wand with a "g-spot attachment" is the way to go.... But the truth is that, despite my boldness on the web, I am a little hesitant about shopping for sex toys! But I guess that's just something I'll have to add to the Single List then- get a new sex toy!

Sex toys are great, and often deliver the most intensely powerful orgasms. But in the end they are no replacement for the feeling of another person's hands touching my body, or someone's tongue flicking across my clit and sucking my nipples... or being held tight while being fucked with my legs above my shoulders. Mmmmmm, while sex toys do their jobs, there's really nothing like the real thing.

My biggest fear in life is that I'm going to end up alone. I hope to find an endless companionship some day.

But in the meanwhile I'm just going to keep exploring.

I've always wanted to take sexual themed photos. I find sex to be a very appealing form of art, when captured the right way. I'm not really talking about porn here- just displaying naked forms in acts of passion, when people have their guards down and are open, vulnerable and honest. These are the beautiful things about sex. I am fascinated by vintage pornography and pinup girls.

I've never known where to find subjects for such a photo-shoot, though, and I don't really have the right equipment to pull it off.

Talking to people on the internet about sex is extremely fascinating, I find. It's liberating to speak with no inhibitions, and to hear people's honest gut reactions to the pictures I post and things I say. I also find it very interesting to hear different people's stories- their views on sex, their desires and so on.

Anyway I do think I'm rambling a fair bit tonight... To those of you who read this far, thanks again! To any American readers out there- think of me while you set off those firecrackers tonight!

I hope you get some fiery Independence Day sex.

I'm going to hate getting up for work tomorrow.

This will be a quick post. I just went to a party at my next-door neighbours house. They are absolutely awesome. It's great to have a house of young people right here. And we all really get along. Got a bit of a crush on one of them- the single one, YAY!

Going there tonight was really good for my psyche right now. I met heaps of new people, which I believe is on my single list! =] And the neighbours are coming over for a little get together with me and some of my friends on Monday night.

I remember having my first sexual thoughts when I was very young. I started masturbating when I was around five, if I remember correctly... I used to call it "the nice feeling". Apparently once I started humping the Ronald McDonald statue in McDonald's, and remarked "it's the nice feeling".

I was a weird child.

I remember once, when I was really young, I masturbated to a documentary of two snails mating.

How strange that is to look back on now, but at the time I knew it was sexual, and they seemed sort of human to me- so I used the emotions that evoked to get myself off.

Creepy.

There are pictures of my coochie on the internet.

I should mention that part of this whole "lashing out post-breakup" business has included an infuriatingly horny me posting pictures of myself on the internet.

I have tried to make sure they're not identifiable as me, but I'm always paranoid that the ex will recognise my special bits. Anyway it feels good to know that people get some enjoyment out of my body, in a harmless, anonymous setting...

Anyway, back to the matter at hand- last night's escapades!
It was a really fun night! Started off with four girls. We didn't end up actually finding the lesbian social club, which was pretty funny, but we had a great time eating pizza followed by dessert pizza and drinking cider.
We then moved on to a lesbian bar which was heaps of fun! I didn't get any kisses, but it just felt good to be free. We danced like crazy and made drunken friends. And I won't lie, I got to touch a boob, and a girl did lick my crotch! It was rather strange, but lots of fun.

The one girl I was interested in approached me, but it turns out she had a girlfriend. Regardless of her motives I couldn't hook up with someone who is in a relationship. I did it once, and I had recurring nightmares that the guy's girlfriend ate my face off, so I ended up telling her.

The last time I went to a gay club I walked into a girl going down on another girl in the toilet cubicle.

This place was a little more...modest. Although it was amazing to keep track of all the hookups- it was a small place so you pretty much got to know everyone's face.... And girls would swap partners like nobody's business!

We then moved on to a gay club, at about 3:00am, and got a nice view of a guy giving another guy a handjob. So dirty, but kind of hot at the same time. Also I'm not one to judge, I have done far worse things in clubs in my time.

OK so I feel like I've had a bit of a rant, and those of you who have read this far are probably thinking "where's the sex?".... So I'll end by reminiscing a little to try and get our juices flowing.... Hmmm which story should I tell?

Oooo I know, I'll talk about my most memorable sex dream! It was about this girl I know (Person 2 in my 'Shoot, Fuck, Marry' post). She is a couple of years younger than me, and I used to do dance classes with her (flexibility- mmmyeah). She has an incredible body- toned legs and stomach, big, shapely breasts- not too big so they sag, but big enough to make up more than a handful. I'm getting a little wet already just typing this.... She's got died vibrant red hair, which I love in a girl, and wears dark-rimmed glasses that just make her look extra sexy.

During the last dance concert I performed with her, she kept coming over to me and rubbing her body against mine and touching my ass.... It was done in a playful manner, but I'm sure there was something more to it... Anyway, this was before I had let myself realise I was bi, and I only truly realised when I was overseas- in fact I remember clearly being in Paris at the time that I had the dream. We were making out, she was on top of me- and I distinctly remember dreaming about the feeling of her breasts against mine- so soft and incredibly full to touch.

I then got on top of her and proceeded to rub my chest against her, fucking her tits with my own. I grabbed them in my hands and played with her nipples. I sucked on them and bit them oh so lightly which made her scream.

I woke up before it could get any better. My male friend was lying next to me and I was so insanely wet I didn't dare move. If only I could have slept a little longer, I would have licked her wet little pussy until she begged me to fuck her hard with my fingers until she came all over them. And then she would have had to return the favour.

Of course now I'm horny after writing that... I think I might be going to the lesbian bar again next week if I don't have to work the day after... Maybe I should try a bit harder to find myself a girl. I just want to make a girl cum by eating her out until she screams.